PTI The Ending By Rocker aka The Director's Cut

The bubbles from the champagne lifted laboriously from the stem of the champagne glass. John looked through the opaque yellow liquid, out of the window of his hotel room. The world danced so much quicker to the rhythm of champagne, he thought. Dancing, dancing dancing...

Alexander looked on, while listening in an earpiece. Poor John Luc, he thought, so much money, so little life left. And in his ear was his wife. Crazy, poor, destitute, lost. From one man to another, he was there every step of the way. Love, they called it. The poets, the romantics, the prose masters who made him believe that one person who touched him so could make so much sense. But the harshness of life had taught him that love was as relevant as Latin. A beginning of everything, but dead, nonetheless. Daisy, my love, he thought, what a fallacy. And there, talking to her, was his daughter, Annabella. The child that a false love conceived. All he wanted for her was a good life. The purest of character, Annabella deserved the riches of John. As long as he kept his employer, John Luc, believing that Annabella was his daughter, Anna would inherit everything. Then he could let John Luc die.

Annabella stood in front of her mother. Her knees felt weak, like they would give way, but she held on. It was Daisy who fell. Her face hit the ground, but Anna didn't move. She tried to stand, but Anna didn't move. She was crying, but Anna didn't move.

Daisy, or Sara, as she once was known, or Alexis, as she was known before she met and killed the real Sara, cried. It was over, she thought. The inheritance, the life goal she built her life around. All of it was crumbling. She felt her side, felt the .45 with the silencer and contemplated killing everyone before she was forced to kill herself. Contemplated a death that warriors once believed in. Warriors like the Vietnam vet father that beat her and raped her. He was the reason for this. War and violence had twisted him. Why should she be the only one to suffer. She pulled out the pistol and watched Annabella finally fall with her, the barrel to her head, like she welcomed death.

Anna closed her eyes. She felt the cold steel on her head and her eyes closed, the memories of a false past fading in. The swingset Daisy, or Sara, or whoever she really was, pushing her while a man stood and laughed. The man they said was Inigo. The Inigo with a lost father. She had not known him, her grandfather, but Inigo wanted the best for her. He held her, he loved her. He kept her away from her mother when she was too drunk. He took her fishing. He taught her about life. Taught her about love. And then his scar on his forehead flashed. The same scar the jogger had. That man, that killer, that man who was protecting me....she smiled. She may die now, and she heard the click of a hammer being pulled back...but she would die knowing the truth.

Kites. That's what he saw. Kites outside the bars. OHHHHH, so pretty they were, Stan thought. Sam saw them too. But he was too busy crying. They hated bars, WHY THE BARS!!!! Stan slammed his head against the stone. It hurt, but he did it again and again and again and again and....

Kato's eyes opened. The darkness was gone now. Doctors walked the hallways outside his door, and he pulled himself up. The cold tile floor caused him to reflex at first, as he pulled the wires from his body. He walked out and nurses paid no attention. Why would they, he was the man in this town. The Sheriff in a southern oasis. The one thing that kept him going...Anna. He knew about her past. He knew who she was...that she could inherit it all. And along the way...he fell in love...

John fell. He hurt. His body hurt. Age had done this. Time had done this. Love had done this. A heart can only feel so much, he thought, as his body started giving way. Alexander came to his side. He held him. He had been so good, this man. He deserves it all. I wish, John thought, I wish I had known him before all this. John smiled, and touched Alexander's face. Alex let a tear fall...but only one. His face didn't show the emotion, as if that tear never existed. But John knew....he saw it. The crystal drop...in it he saw Paris...he saw New Orleans...he saw Rose dancing, Rose smiling, Rose laughing...Rose...and it all faded to black..."Anna" was all he could say...

"You don't deserve it." Anna opened her eyes and saw her mother staring at her. "You don't...I did all the work...you were a mistake..."
"Then kill me. My life is a lie. A joke. A con."
Sara blinked twice. She saw her eyes in Anna's eyes. She saw her determination in her. She saw her strength in Anna. She saw her life in Anna.
"Kill me" Anna said again. "My entire life...its all a lie. You made me a lie. And I should die now that I know the truth."
The hammer was pulled. It was all ready. Two bullets. One for he daughter, one for her.

But 'Sara' never felt the lead that filled her head. She never felt her gray matter split in two at the base of her brain. It was too perfect a shot. A shot from an assassin. But this wasn't an assassin. This wasn't a bodyguard. This was a Podunk cop in a Podunk town.

Anna watched as 'Sara' tried to smile. She was free, Anna thought, as Sara's body fell, then gun falling from her hand. And there, to her left, was Kato. Still in hospital gown. Still smiling. Still warm...He fell next to her. He held her. And behind him, the jogger, the assasin, the employ of John Luc, the man she knew as Inigo...Alexander : Her father.

"He's dead...your grandfather," There was a wink, and Alexander handed Anna the pendant and pin that would secure the inheritance she deserved. Anna stood up to hug him...but he stepped back. In China there was a missionary whose life was his charge. This selfish adventure was over...another awaited him. He blew his daughter a kiss and walked away...the fallacy of love, he thought...so fleeting...

Sam stumbled out of the broken bars....no alarm had sounded. Stan was dead. So much blood. He tried to put it back in the body but it was so messy. SO MESSY!!! And all Stan said was...GET THE PIN. IT IS OUR MONEY. MONEY!!! GREEEN!!! FROGGSSSSS!!! Sam liked Frogs...time to find that Pin. To get the frogs...Stan had died for it...too much blood. Stan lost so much blood. We need to get more...from the pin...from frogs??? And Sam took off....

And in a small room in a small house in a small part of Opelika a small girl sat in a chair and watched her false father die from the poison that killed so many before her....Her mother died and another was going to inherit what was hers...Lily knew that even though she was young...the time would come to get what was rightfully hers...so the blood that coursed through her veins told her.

"CUT!" Michel Gondry said. "PRINT!"

Dakota Fanning stood up from the chair and the hot lights that set the scene faded and the studio stage lights came on, a door opening and the sun blasting in as the crew clapped. Dakota did an exaggerated bow, laughing. John C. Reilly came up behind her and swung her around. This cast had been playful, enjoying the ride. And it translated on celluloid.

Rancette stood aside with LC, the producer, and Rance, now relegated to an exec. Producer.

"Do you think it'll play?" LC asked.

Rance shrugged. Rancette looked worried.

"Doubt it. Too many twists. This isn't a fucking Alias episode. This isn't a fucking feature." Someone said.

"Fuck it. I like it well enough. Why not, right? I told Kevin McCormick we'd have something good, and he approved the script. I don't see why Warners won't agree with the print. Shit, Michel will edit it all himself anyway. He's genius. It'll be sweet. Lorenzo thought it'd be good. And if DiBoniventura thought It'd be good, It'll be good." Rance said, assuring himself.

THE END.

PTI The Ending by Rubber Duckie (Due to Rocker being MIA)

Note to Rocker: If you happened to write your part, but simply failed to get it in please send it on and we will post it as an alternative ending.

"You're not my mother?"

The white coats behind the mirrored glass waited with great anticipation. Were they on the verge of the long awaited break through? Kato leaned forward, pressed a button and spoke into a box "It's time. Proceed."

Anna was startled by a knock on the door. An attractive lady with a calming presence entered the room. She had dark auburn hair and familiar eyes. In a hypnotic voice she began..."No, Sarah is not your mother. Your name is Rose, not Anna. You are 64 years old. The year is 1968. You are in the Moon Valley Sanitarium. You have been here since the age of 40."

Anna pressed her hands to her temples and clawed her fingers through her hair. This had all become too much. How much more insanity could she take? Through clenched teeth she defiantly, but quietly said, "My name is not Rose, nor do I live in a sanitarium." As the words escaped from her lips a white light from behind her eyes shot pain through her head like a bolt of invisible lightning. She held her head as she fell to the floor on her knees. The flashes grew brighter until eventually she could see the presence of images before them, like a shadow puppet scene on the wall projected by the light of a blazing fire. The images soon grew more defined and the movie that had been her life began to play...

She mouthed the words "My name is Rose." It was more of a questioning statement to herself than to anyone else.

The panel behind the glass listened intently. They had been working on her case for years and this was the farthest she had ever progressed. During this last episode she had finally acknowledged Sarah's death, even though it was at the hands of someone else. This was a positive sign. Perhaps she could recover her past, work through it and begin to live in the present as herself instead of this alter personality.

The woman in white took her hand and helped her up from the floor. She sat her down on the bed and in a soothing voice she said, "Your name is Rose. You were married to Clyde. You had two children, a son and a daughter. Your son's name was Anthony. You thought he had died at birth, but he didn't. Anthony was taken from you by your father and given to a couple to raise as their own. You soon after had your daughter, Sarah. As fate would have it, Anthony left home at an early age and wandered into your town. Your true relationship remained unknown to you both. He came knocking on your door looking for work and you hired him to work around the house. He became very close with your daughter. In fact, they fell in love..."

She paused here, waiting for the knowledge to sink in, looking for some recognition in the patient. Anna's eyes looked down as she squeezed and twisted her hands. A single tear streamed down her cheek. She turned her head away, but asked the woman to continue.

"Sarah became pregnant and she and Anthony came to you with the news. They were going to be married. You were sad because she was so young, but happy as you knew they were in love. When your father learned of the relationship he had the boy investigated. He wanted to know exactly who this boy was and his family connections. It wasn't long before he discovered that Anthony was his grandson, your son, and Sarah's half-brother. Karma had more than repaid him for the horrible deed he had done. He couldn't tell anyone the truth, knowing that all would see him for who he was, but he also couldn't let this baby, conceived in incest, be born. He had Anthony and Sarah killed, staging the horrible scene as a murder/suicide at the hands of a jealous Anthony. To be rid of any memory of this horrible mess he had taken your pin, the gift from John, who was Anthony's father, and had the engraving of love sautered over and replaced with the engraving of death...memento mori. He had it stuck in the breast of Sarah. He knew you wouldn't want to keep it then. He also took the pendant and had one of his lackey's sell it to the jeweler. Your father was a very powerful man. When the sheriff didn't automatically declare the crime a murder/suicide he saw to it that he was not re-elected and that the new sheriff would be in his back pocket. This would close the past for good...or so he thought."

Anna screamed out in pain. She knew! She knew that it wasn't a murder/suicide. Anthony had no cause to be jealous. Sarah had never so much as looked at another boy. And he could never have harmed her. Never! The pin would lead her to the murderer. The officials might have closed this case, but she would never give up. She had went to the police station and asked for the pin back. After all, the case had been closed and it was hers. She took it and went to every jeweler within driving distance until she found him...the one who did the work. While waiving a gun she threatened his life until he told her who had brought it in...it was her father. She drove in a blind rage to her father's estate. She found him in his parlor enjoying a Cuban cigar. It would be his last.

He had confessed to everything, horrors beyond her wildest imagination. She had made him kneel on the floor and ask forgiveness from her and his God. Then she shot him...

*********

They gave her several hours to be alone with her thoughts and to express her grief. Then they all went in to explain her condition and answer any questions she might have. Dr. Kaelin was in charge.

"Rose, we think it is now time to explain why you are here at Moon Valley. After the murder of your father you had a nervous breakdown. You developed an alter personality...Anna. We believe that psychologically you chose Anna as a representation of the child that Sarah never had. Via Anna you were always trying to solve the murder of Rose and Clyde, jumping forward years into the future. Apparently, it was too much for your mental state to acknowledge the death of Sarah and Anthony so your mind conveniently altered facts to accommodate your fragile mental state. In most of the fantasies, Sarah and Anthony were always alive; they had simply disappeared or ran off. We knew this last episode was going to be a break through because you finally acknowledged the death of Sarah, albeit at the hands of someone else. Your mind always found a way for Rose to have knowledge of Anthony's origins, thereby correcting through fantasy the mistakes of reality. Most times this was brought out through your father's natural death and his honorable admission of his secret. It was simply too much for you to acknowledge what your father had done. "

He paused for her reaction and then continued, "When you were brought here and put under the care of our staff it was our job to bring you back, bring Rose back. The people you now see standing before you have been assigned to your case and have worked with you over the past 20 years, some longer than others. I am Dr. Kaelin, or Kato as you like to call me. This is Stan and Sam, two interns who have been extremely involved in your care. And last, but not least, Dr. Sandburg....Dr. Lily Sandburg."

"You have the pin!" Rose exclaimed. "You took it from me!"

"Yes." Lily said. "I have the pin. Upon your admittance it had to be removed from your possession as it was seen as an object that you could use to harm yourself with. We soon realized that this pin might be the key to your recovery. I would occasionally show it to you in the hopes that it might trigger something within."

Lily reached into her pocket and pulled out an object. As she unfurled her fingers dazzling reflections played off the light above and danced around the room. It was as brilliant as ever...

An E-Mail
Tomorrow is the grand finale of the PTI series. After that we've got some other swell stuff lined up. Today I'm going to share an e-mail I received. Its sender would be happy if you read it as well. To those of you who'll complain of the bias implicit in my decision to share it: This is my damn blog. I'd be well within my rights to go into the rename function thing and rename it "Bring Back Chairman Mao Blog" if I felt like it. To all of you: Please vote. There are some decent civic reasons to do it, plus everyone who does gets a DVP.

Happy Halloween,

R

****

Dear {Rance},

In less than one week, America will conduct what political pundits like to call "the only poll that matters." But, as Election Day fast approaches, polls give us a clear sense of our main tasks in the final days of this campaign.

We all know the bottom line. This is a remarkably close election -- both nationally and in one battleground state after another. There is little question that our get-out-the-vote efforts will decide whether John Kerry or George W. Bush leads America for the next four years.

Friday is the last day for you to contribute online to help fund these make or break efforts. The get-out-the-vote program must be fully funded by Friday. So please make a contribution to the Democratic Party today.

https://www.democrats.org/support/kerry.html

It is my responsibility to analyze polling data for the campaign. Because of the special role that you have played in this campaign, I want to take this opportunity to share some observations:

George Bush appears to have hit a ceiling of support at 47-48%. During the past several weeks, he has tried to break through this ceiling by attacking John Kerry. This strategy has failed, and he is running up against the clock. An incumbent president who cannot break through the 50% barrier is going to find it very difficult to win reelection.

Young voters are overwhelmingly supporting John Kerry and are one of his strongest voting blocks. This year millions of new young Americans have registered to vote, and their turnout on Election Day will be one of the deciding factors.

Almost every poll, public and private, has John Kerry doing even better in the key battleground states than in the national horserace.
This election is going to come down to the wire. Turnout on Election Day is going to decide this election. We need to make sure that the Democratic Party has the resources necessary to mobilize every voter in battleground states. Again, every piece of polling data that I have seen indicates that this effort will decide this election.

I know that you are told repeatedly, "you can make the difference." Every day I analyze polling data and I can assure that is not just a line. This year everything that each one of us does and gives in the next six days will make all the difference. Let's make history.

https://www.democrats.org/support/kerry.html

Thank you,

Mark Mellman

Part 27 by feenxc
Anna quickly sidestepped, hoping her mother hadn't seen the police car pulling in.
"I need to stall" she thought.

"Mother, please, you've got to rethink this!" she blurted out.

Sara gave her a shove and said "No, little girl, you're the one who has some thinking to do. Now get moving."

"Mother, I just don't think I can take anymore of this. Do you have any idea what kind of hell the last two days have been for me? I pissed off this entire town when I bought the pin, even though I gave the rest of the junk to Lily. I have had an insane monkey-like man jump out at me. That was just the beginning."

Anna quickly glanced outside, wondering who was in the police car and what was taking so long.

"On top of that, someone left a gross message on my front door, then cleaned it up before anybody else could see it. Now people are starting to think I'm the crazy one!"
"I've been in a car crash, which I am sure gave me a concussion because I had the strangest dream last night. After that, an 8 year old broke into my house, tried to steal the pin from me, and according to you, has been conning me from the get-go."

"Well I'm not sure she's been totally conning you. I am positive she has her own agenda, though." Sara interrupted.

"But I believed her" Anna wailed, "Mother, she's just a little girl."

Sara looked at her in disgust. "Pull yourself together, we've got to get going."

Anna was getting desperate. It couldn't be Kaelin in the car, he had been in surgery last she knew. Who was it? Where were they?

"Oh no, you're going to hear me out, Mother! Lily told me the most amazing story, which I thought was about my ancestors. But no, you had to ruin that, didn't you? This has been the worst day ever! I fell down my steps, hit my head, when I came to, I thought Lily had been kidnapped. On the way to look for her, I got hauled off to a murder scene by someone I thought was becoming more than just a friend. He had even brought the files on the old case for me to read."

"Please let someone come soon, I don't know how long she'll listen to me whine" thought Anna.

"I know, I read the same files" Sara interrupted again. But Anna was on a roll, not truly listening to what Sara had said.

"The absolute worst, was witnessing Deputy Kaelin being shot. I still have his blood on my clothes. And who do I find lurking around? You, of all people! Only we don't get a chance to even talk, the electricity goes out and I get kidnapped. As if enough hasn't already happened to me!"

Anna was beyond desperate. There had been more than enough time for the cop to show up. And knowing her mother's lack of patience, Anna knew she was running out of time. The only thing she had left was to keep talking.

"Mother, the strangest man took me. He claims that he is a paid killer, working for John, trying to find the true heir to John's fortunes. Only John turns out to be as looney as those two monkey-like men who now I'm told might be my brothers."

Sara laughed "Yes, he is, isn't he".

By this time Anna was getting pissed. "Mom, he told me that you are not Sara, you are not the heir, and he implied that you killed my dad...Mother you need to start telling me the truth. Are you Sara? Did you kill my father? Mother, please..." Anna was beginning to choke up, overflowing with anger and sorrow.

Sara was still laughing "You really think you can handle the truth? Well, let's start with a little question of my own..."Why do you keep calling me that?"

Anna looked confused "Calling you what?"

"Mother..."


to be continued...and ended

Part 26 by Princessr9
As the hooded man lead John out the back door, Anna walked toward the front door. She paused to take a few deep breaths and to quiet the thoughts racing through her head. Her mother's plans were obvious and she clearly had no conscience about killing people that got in her way.

The question and the temptation was, help her mother and take what money she could and run, or stop her and get revenge for her beloved father. The answer was there burning bright inside of her. Anna would avenge her father and Sara too, for their deaths were unfair and unnecessary. She took another deep breath and reached for the door.

"Hello Mother."

Anna's mother stood in the doorway, "I suppose you've figured it out. You always were a smart girl. I hope you don't think you're going to get in my way. I need that pin and you can't keep me from what is mine."

"How can the money be yours? You're not the real Sara. Besides, I don't have the pin. I haven't had it for some time now and I don't know where it is."

"Oh come now dear Anna, do you take me for a fool? I've been watching you. I saw that sweet little girl. It would be terrible if she got hurt."

"You wouldn't do that, she's just a little girl!"

"Wouldn't I?" Anna's mother removed the small gun from her coat pocket and leveled it at Anna. "We are going to go get that pin now aren't we? You're going to help your mama just like a good little girl and no one else will get hurt."

Anna's eyes filled with tears and she shook her head. "I won't let you do this."

"Oh poor Anna, I think you will." Sara reached for Anna's hand.

Just as Anna started to pull away a police cruiser pulled into the driveway.

To be continued . . . .

PTI: Part 25? By Bubba
"This is all some kind of crazy joke, isn't it? I mean it has to be," Anna cried.

"To be, or not to be...that is the quartet of merry making and pancake flipping..." At that point John began to ramble on in a quiet voice. "This guy isn't all together there anymore," Anna thought to herself.

"I know what you're thinking," said the hooded man. "And your right, he's not all together there."

"How did you know...?" Anna began before being cut off.

"I'm paid to be intuitive. Listen, some of the stuff he just told you is true. The rest was made up in his head to fill in the pieces he couldn't solve. He's been trying to figure this thing out for years and it, along with dementia, has driven him a little batty."

"Thank God! I was this close to puking my guts out at the thought of having to go on Jerry Springer and tell the story of my inbred primate family," Anna sighed and looked over at John who was counting the flowers on her living room curtains while singing "Lady Marmalade" in French.

"Sorry, I like to let him finish before I tell it like it is. Here's the truth, or at least the truth so far as we found out. Can I get you anything before I start a cup of tea maybe?"

"Who's "we"? And why the hell are you still pointing a gun at me?"

"I'm sorry, my manners are bad, I'm used to busting knee caps and making people dig their own graves. Not so used to being around ladies. "We", is the umm, how do I put it, "private agency" hired by Mr. Luc to figure out who killed Rose, who the body was left by her side, and where Sara and Anthony are. We've been looking for the answers for decades." The hooded stranger got up, put a kettle on the stove, and sat back down across from Anna.

Anna realized, for the first time in days, that she had no idea why any of this was so important. "Great, but why?" Anna asked in her best hoity voice.

"What do you mean why?"

"Why is all of this so important? What's the importance of this stupid pin? It's just a pin once owned, or not owned as it now seems, by a dead lady."

"Because that crazy old man counting flowers is worth half a billion dollars, and who ever is related to him, inherits all that. Whoever has the pin has the prize. The pin rightfully belongs to Rose's heir, and we're just trying to figure out if there is still an heir."

The kettle whistled, which startled them both. The hooded stranger laughed, and then got up to make them tea. "He's making me tea," Anna thought to herself, "There's a hired killer in my kitchen making me tea."

"You mean, my mother is going to inherit half a billion dollars?" Anna yelled into the kitchen. When he didn't answer her she started to think about her mother having half a billion dollars to do with as she pleased, and it pissed her off. She had never really gotten along with her mother; in fact, she hated her guts. She blamed her mother for her dad's death and for making her childhood seem to last a century. They had what the southerners call "a tolerable relationship." Anna had grown up in a small town about thirty minutes away from Opelika. When she had discovered that her mother was having an affair with the county sheriff, she told her father. He had simply folded up his newspaper and said, "Your mother has a great many secrets and she is not the kind of woman whose secrets you want to get involved in." And that was that! He never mentioned it again. He just lived his life normally, until he died unexpectedly six months later. On the day that he died of an unexplainable stomach ailment, he said to Anna, "I married a ghost." Anna was twelve at the time, and the day after the funeral her mom sold everything and took Anna across country. She would pick up and move after picking up a new boyfriend, using him, and then leaving abruptly.

Anna sat lips pursed and forehead furrowed thinking over her past, and somehow she slipped out, "He married a ghost." The hooded man set two cups of tea on the coffee table between them and looked at her confused. She glanced at him and said, "She's not Sara, is she?"

"You mean your mother? No, we found Sara in 1960. She was dying in a hospital in Lawrence Kansas. She had run away after her mother's death because she was afraid of the killers. It seems that she was in the house at the time of the murders, saw everything, and left before they could find her. When we told her that she was the daughter of another man, she just smiled and said that she had always known that she couldn't have been the daughter of such an evil man." As he talked, Anna noticed that he flipped the safety switch on his gun on and off, over and over. He seemed nervous, and kept looking out the window, as if he was waiting for something to happen.

"But how did my mother get into this mess?" Anna said, hoping to distract him from his nervous habit.

"Sara had been living in an apartment in Lawrence with a young woman who happened to look almost exactly like her. They became very close, so close, in fact, that Sara finally broke down and told her roommate the entire story...the murders, the money, the involvement by both the police and the bank, and of course the story of the pin. She had never known the true story of the pin, or the fact that there was a copy, but she knew that it was the only way she could prove herself as being Rose's daughter. She could perfectly describe the pin that her mother loved so much."

Anna began to feel a sickening feeling in her stomach; she knew how the story of the real Sara would be finished. She didn't want to hear the ending, but she couldn't move her lips to speak.

"Sara came down with a horrible case of the flu, at least that's what the doctor's back then thought it was. They couldn't figure out how to treat it, and she just died. We thought that that was the end of it, Sara was gone. But then in 1982 we hear about a woman whose husband died unexplainably from a stomach problem, and that her name is Sara. Mr. Luc knew that there was going to be trouble. He hired a doctor to figure out how the real Sara had died. He came back with an answer...ricin poisoning. We then found out by shear luck and a good paper trail that Sara's friend from Kansas had ordered a large amount of castor beans shortly before her husband's death. Ricin poison can be made from castor beans."

"My mother killed my father," Anna whispered.

"Yes, and Sara. And, we think she got Mark at the Opelika Inn since that is where she's been staying. We don't know why she killed him, but he probably stumbled into the wrong place at the wrong time and saw the person she's been working with."

"What about Lily? How does she fit into this?"

"She's eight. Easy to bribe. She'll probably just sell the pin on EBay."

"Oh, my god! The pin is gone! I didn't even think about it!" Anna scrambled to find her keys and jacket, and then realized there was no reason to go get the pin back at that moment. Since she knew exactly where it was, it was safe. Everybody else thought that she was in possession of it, and in the meantime, she could just use the fake pin that was resting in the pocket of a man pretending to fly fish on her Persian carpet. Lily could hold on to the real one for now, Anna had bigger fish to catch. And fake bait, if well presented, is just as tasty. Anna sat back down, and rested her head on her knees. All at once, she had a whole new bag of questions she needed to open.


"Why did you shoot Kaelin?"

"Hey, you're intuitive too. Maybe you should ask yourself why he keeps following you around like a puppy." As the thoughts began racing around Anna's head like a dog on a track, she noticed that they had been talking into the evening, and that the headlights of a car had pulled into her driveway.

"I think it would be a good idea if you and Captain Cuckoo left out the back door."


Too be continued...

Today's Entry
As we are without a PTI entry today and are being denied access to our What-I-Would-Do-If-I-Ran-Fox entries reserve, we have appropriated a picture worth at least a few hundred words from the current entry in whaler Gus Openshaw's blog. We didn't exactly get his permission, but it looks like he won't be around to compain about it:


http://blubberybastard.tripod.com

Have a better weekend than Capt. Openshaw is having,

A.S.


Administrative Note:

Bubba's turn at PTI is in, terrific, and will be posted Monday.

Oops I Pooped In Your Bed
A heartwarming tale to tide you over until the next installment of PTI is off the presses...

Cheers,

A.S.


Oops I Pooped in Your Bed: The Beginning

by Bingo the Monkey



Maybe I should start at the beginning. Not the "my mommy shot me out and the sun burned my eyes" beginning. The beginning of my being in the music industry. For me, it really is an industry, child labor laws don't apply to monkeys. I arrived in Los Angeles with the hopes of being in movies, or at least animal porn. Either way, people would know me, people would love me. And, I'd finally lose my virginity.

But I soon found that the mean streets of LA are even meaner to out of work monkeys. I couldn't find work anywhere! I applied for the "monkey needed ASAP" gig at the zoo and they told me that I just wasn't what they were looking for. Apparently there's this other monkey named Marcel that fucked it up for the rest of us trying to make it big. "Your too old, your too young, your too monkey-like," this were just a few of the rejections I got along the way. I felt like the Debra Winger of the primate world. I couldn't find work. But I could always find a tall drink of banana malt liquor.

My nights were spent dancing naked for change on Sunset Blvd, right next to a nice lady with a face hairy then mine who called herself "Honeydew". She let me keep 70% of everything I made. Then, everyday I'd drag myself into whatever dive I could find, throw my 35 cents onto the counter and say, "A thimble of banana malt." I'd be wasted before the first thimble was drained, and telling wild jungle stories before I puked in somebody's shoes, which happened every night.

On my sixth day in LA, and after my first shot, (man, those are big!) I was doing my "This ones for my homies" routine, which involved peeing on the floor and yelling "Biiiaaatchh," as loud and incoherently as I could. It made everybody laugh, until the door opened up and let the light in.

"My eyes!! Mommy my eyes!!" I cried out, or at least I think I did. It could have been Stutters the homeless guy that lives under the bar.

"Oh my god, I am like so sorry, I didn't even think, like ever." The voice was coming from the most beautiful looking man I had ever seen. He reminded me of Honeydew, strong, blonde, and wearing practically nothing.

He went on to say, "Yeah, like I'm doing a lip synch, I mean routine on MTV and it's like going to be totally wild and stuff cause like I'm going to wear this like amazing piece of cloth and like my hair is going to be soo totally awesome and like the dancers are going to be doing this thing and whatever, and like I decided all by myself that I'd be holding this big ass snake and than, my manager said why not find a monkey to be in the background?"

I couldn't understand a word of what he was saying, I could only hear the sound of gum being chewed as loud as possible, and this high pitched squealing noise that sounded like a chipmunk dying. I was too drunk too care what he said, so I just reached up and said, "When I drink too much I get diarrhea."

"Oh my god you are like soo fucking cute! Wait until JT hears what you said, he'll like totally fucking die." And with that I was lifted off my chair by some giant dude with a name like "Skinny" or "Puppy" and thrown into the back of a white limo....

Pardon The Interuption Part 24. By T Rex
In the darkness, as the random thoughts and paranoid delusions began to magnify in the commotion of the power outage, Annabella felt a hand at the back of her head and a cloth with the unmistakable smell of chloroform being pressed to her face. As she lost consciousness she felt herself being lifted and carried away.

When she awoke, Anna was lying on a couch. She looked around the opulently appointed room. The lights were low and her head was aching from the chloroform. Her eyes rested upon a hooded figure in a jogging suit. She couldn't see his face, but she could see the cold blue steel of the 9mm pistol in his hand, pointed in her direction and resting on his knee.

"Where am I?" she asked.

"You're safe as long as you keep your seat and listen." He responded in a deep and soothing voice.

"Uh, no problem. Who are you?"

"I'm sorry to have had to collect you the way I did, but I was instructed by my employer to bring you in. I had intended to bring you in earlier, but you were with the policeman and that would have complicated things."

"You were the one, who left the voodoo curse on my door, weren't you?" Anna demanded.

"No. Someone else left that. He was just a messenger. You don't have to worry about him anymore. I took care of him for you. But there will be others." The jogger said, without a trace of excitement. "My employer has instructed me to protect you and that is what I will do."

"But who are you?" Anna asked again.

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you and that would defeat the purpose.' He replied matter of factly.

"Well then, who is your "employer?"

"I am." A frail voice from the other side of the room replied.

Anna turned her head to see an impeccably dressed old man entering the room. Though he walked with a cane, she could see remnants of the powerful presence he once commanded.

"My name is Jean Luc, but you can call me John."

Anna's mind raced. "Where... who..."

"I'm going to put part of this together for you and in turn, you're going to help me finish it" he said as he took his seat. "It isn't going to be easy for you to hear, but for the sake of the salvation of humanity, you must hear it." He said, as he lit his cigar.

With a curl of Cuban smoke rising in the air above him, he began. "In France in the 1920s, I was in partnership with the Union Bank, in a deal which was being directed by a young bank officer named Prescott Bush. Prescott liked to have leverage on people he dealt with. He found out that I had met and fell in love with a young American woman and had me followed to a jewelry store where I purchased a gift for her."

The pin and the matching pendant?" Anna asked

"Yes. Prescott knew that the woman I fell in love with was the daughter of a man who was deeply in debt to the bank, in a mortgage on his textile mill. With a twisted sense of humor, he had exact copies made, but with a different inscription. He gave them to the father of another man in the textile business to give to his son, with whom they had arranged a marriage to my beloved Rose. A marriage which would consolidate the textile industry in the southern United States and create enormous profits from the next war, which was inevitable.."

"Prescott Bush had the "Memento mori" pin made? That's where it came from?" Anna begged?

"Yes and the pendant as well. Perhaps now you can see how big this is, and how deep it runs. You know some of what happened in the years afterward. But what you don't know is that Prescott became a managing partner at a large investment banking firm, Brown Brothers and Harriman. In the years following Prescott began to have political ambitions and he began to back track and tried to clean up whatever loose ends he might have left, which could adversely affect the political dynasty he was intent on creating. What he found out was that his sick little joke had spun out of control and it had to be cleansed." He said, as he leaned forward in his chair.

Anna stammered. "Rose and Clyde?"

"Killed by Nazi agents at the direction of the Union Bank, which was then controlled by Brown Brothers and Harriman and made to look like a murder/suicide. But Anna, this is the part where you must be brave." He urged.

"When Anthony discovered the bodies of Rose and Clyde he somehow sensed that he and Sara were in danger. He convinced Sara to run away with him to Memphis Tennessee. In the course of the next few months, protecting and taking care of each other, they fell in love. Sara became pregnant with twins, but there was a problem. The twins were born with horrible primate like birth defects and almost completely insane. In the course of postnatal treatment the doctors discovered two things. First, that they both showed signs of Extra Sensory Perception, though it was unlikely that their brains would ever develop enough to harness that power. And second, that the birth defects were the result of an incestuous relationship. That Anthony and Sara were in fact, half brother and sister. You see Anna, Anthony was my son."

Anna felt faint. Her world was spinning as he continued.

"Stan and Sam were institutionalized by the State of Tennessee and Anthony and Sara, were unable to face each other. Sara changed her name and moved to New York where she met a man named Inigo Montoya"

"OH MY GOD" Anna screamed. "Do you mean to tell me that..."

"Yes Anna" he sighed. " Stan and Sam are your half brothers. And the pin found in Rose's body wasn't my pin which you now have, it was the copy.."

"But how could you know that? Anna asked cynically.

John pulled his hand from his right coat pocket and opened it for her to see. "Because I took it" he replied. "It was the only piece of evidence that pointed to the killer and I had to make sure it didn't end up in the wrong hands. I was determined to avenge her death myself, so to make sure that it wasn't lost or destroyed as a part of the conspiracy, I replaced it with the one that I had promised to give Rose all those years ago. I've kept it all this time. It was the first piece in a puzzle I've been putting together for over 60 years."

Anna couldn't feel her legs. She sat there completely numb.

"I need your help Anna. There are forces in the Bush family which command unspeakable power and they'll stop at nothing to bury the truth."


To be continued...

Party 23 by Luke
Anna finally gets a moment to ponder all that has happened. She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, counts to 10, exhales, and when she opens her eyes she can see nothing but pure darkness. No alarm clocks, no bathroom lights, no little green flickers from her cable modem (yes they have them in Opelika), and no symphonic humming from the sounds of florescent lights mixing with the changing pitches of the laptop hard drive. Just silence and total darkness. She quickly realizes the construction sign she has been seeing for the last 2 days all over town:

POWER TO BE CUT TEMPORARILY ON JUNE 28TH FOR NEW CONSTRUCTION AT TIGER TOWN DEVELOPMENT

Isn't it funny how we block out the things we get used to seeing?

It is amazing what a little reflection time can cause. In this darkness Annabella is forced to deal with her inner thoughts, her deepest self, her very core. The distractions of the world are temporarily out of order, and in this moment of clarity it dawned on her. Something else was at work in this little town. (insert scary music)

Dan, the owner of Dealer Dan's Pawn, used to have the phone number 334-887-6777. It worked the first time Anna called it, but when she called Dan back the following day someone from "TRIMART" answered. Out of confusion Anna asked to whom she was speaking and where they were located and it turns out TRIMART was at 2040 Lee Road 137, Auburn, AL 36832. Anna discarded the info, until now, when it randomly came all flooding back to her in the midst of the silence.

Nothing is random. Everything happens for a reason. She didn't see it until now, but oh is it so very clear....

(334) 887-6777 now connects to 2040 Lee Road 137, Auburn, AL 36832

TRImart. Google it for yourselves, it's the truth.

Adding up the digits of the phone number (334) 887-6777 we get:

3+3+4+8+8+7+6+7+7+7 = 60 = 6+0 = 6

2040 Lee Road = 20+40 = 60 = 6+0 = 6

137, Auburn, Alabama 36832 = 1+3+7+3+6+8+3+2 = 33 = 3+3 = 6

3 numbers all adding up to 6. 6-6-6! TRImart. 666. Opelika shows its horns. (I can't help but thinking: What is next? Fall festivals 5 days early, and 5 haunted hay rides?!?) And finally... It all makes sense.

When "Momento Mori" and "Onia Vincit amor" are combined they provide the letters :

M o m e n t o m o r i o n i a v i n c i t a m o r

The statements were only elaborate red herrings crafted to throw the adults off the trail. The letters are an anagram for:

I'm an over common intimate minor.

It seems our 8 year old Lilly is up to something..

What Anna doesn't know yet is that she doesn't even exist. She is merely a collage of melded thought fashioned from another place and time. Lily is both her mother, and her creator. Sounds odd, but watch: Lily is actually the daughter of Rance, a love child from a crazy and wild trip to Cuba. She was born on Thursday, October 14th at 11:54 AM, to a woman Rance only knew as "numerals". Cubans were known for their workmanship with leaves (particularly their cigar rolling) but Nums' specialty was working with the Mediterranean evergreen tree. To this day if Rance smells the berries or leaves of the Laurus nobilis he is overcome with memories of Nums and his adventures in Cuba.

In order to quell his young daughter's boredom, Rance has commissioned her services as a script writer for his next project. Lily is no ordinary 8 year old as you will soon see. She is unchallenged with the nonsensical and futile efforts of the world as we think we know it. The specialists all told Rance she was "autistic", but growing up with so much social contact she quickly adapted to her environment and overcame the odds. Rance needed something new, something fresh, something not tainted by time's teeth, something coming from "elsewhere", something not apt to cave into all the societal conformities..... thus enter his 8 year old genius and her script ideas!

Annabell was picked by Lily as our lead out of spite. Wait till you see what happens to her at the end! Rance met her at a 5k run/walk event and was impressed by her time of 30:01. Lily didn't like the competition with her daddy, nor did she like the fact that Annabell's anagram was "Loony Mean Anal Bat". You see, there could be many anagrams for any given name, some positive, some good, but Lily seemed to stick with the first that came to mind, and she judged others according to her anagram "first impression". Lily didn't like loony mean anal bats. Come to think of it, I am not sure I do either.

Enough about Lily.... Something evil is about to awake in sleepy Opelika.....

Ps. Don't respond to the email titled "Re: llufy rag". He's the one behind the deception.

Pss. Oh ya, I almost forgot. Anthony, the gardener was only pretending to be Anthony. He was indeed having a love affair with Rose that dated back before Rose was even married! Anthony is John!!!..... (it took him years to perfect his broken English and yard work skills, but Clyde was easy to sell.)

Psss. Rance tends to spill anything and everything he eats, thus Lily depicted him with tobacco spit stains. It was a subtle punch that she knew only he would see.

Pssss. The journal entry: "February 16, 1927... Leaving today to be with my beloved John down in Chalmette.." ended so abruptly because at the moment Rose penned it she was swept off her feet with another one of John's surprises. The film "Marquise" was premiering in London and only the very wealthy could afford to see it. John had 2 train passes and tickets to the London premier! It was one of John and Rose's many spontaneous romantic getaways.


(to be continued)