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Rance wuz here...
Friday, 1 October 2004
Pardon the Interruption Part 11 by Rancette

The brunette casting director, early 30s, in a Christian Dior suit, handed the producer a list.

DEPUTY KATO KAELIN ... Kato Kaelin
ANNA MONTOYA ... Anna Paquin
SAM ... Matthew Settle
STAN ... Marton Csokas
ROSE HAYGOOD ... Connie Nielsen
CLYDE CANTER ... Paul Bettany
MR. BUD ... John C. Reilly
LILY ... Perla Haney-Jardine
SARA ...Drew Barrymore
JOGGER ... Kevin Spacey
BILL ... David Carradine

CASTING DIRECTOR: This is what I'm thinking.

PRODUCER (ticked off): First of all, I don't want Kato Kaelin playing himself. Get someone who isn't tacky. What about Brad Pitt? Brad's scruffy like Kato, but he's a star. And his agent emailed me saying that he has intense interest in the role.

CASTING DIRECTOR: If I may say so, Brad Pitt is one of the tackiest actors out there.

PRODUCER: I know, but Rance mentioned him once.

CASTING DIRECTOR: Rance mentioned Cary Grant once. Should Cary play Stan?

PRODUCER: You're fired. Insolence! Get outta my office!!

CASTING DIRECTOR: Wait, a brilliant idea just came to me! Chris Cooper as Stan! He has a Bob Ewell face!

PRODUCER: Move it now. I'll make sure you never work in this town again. Exit the building! SECURITY!!!!!

Two buff security guards take the casting director away.

CREDITS:
CASTING DIRECTOR ... Maggie Gyllenhaal
PRODUCER ... Harvey Weinstein
SECURITY GUARD #1 ... Vin Diesel
SECURITY GUARD #2 ... Jason Statham

Meanwhile back at Rancette's ranch, Rancette is speaking to her agent...

AGENT: I hate to break it to you. They don't like the changes you've made to "Pardon the Interruption".

RANCETTE: Well, when you have 30 different writers give or take... The writers are still getting their dough, even though I changed most of their details. It was for clarity's sake. I mean Kenmore refrigerators dropping from the sky? That's cool. But our director is not Ridley Scott, Michael Gondry, or even Robert Altman. They would be the only ones who could pull off something like that. Our director would screw things up. You know him.

AGENT: I know this was a hard task, but you're in a tough line of work. You aren't pulling this together like they thought you could, Rancette. You've been fired.

RANCETTE: Fired?! Well, it's not my fault if the original writers are whining to the producer about how they're not going to hand over the rights to their side of the story unless everything is kept the same. I had to change stuff around. Especially since two writers didn't agree to have their part brought to the screen. That's why I had to change everything. Now, everyone who agreed to the terms... wow, they are going to receive one big, fat check. I kept all of the characters, even if I changed who they were a little bit. I thought I had total creative control. They can't fire me. Can't I do a re-write? I mean I was the writer of the screenplay.

AGENT: Yes, the keyword is "was". Plus, there's the issue of Rance wanting to star in the film. The script first appeared on his blog, so he had his rights. He's going to play Kato.

RANCETTE: Wow. First Kato Kaelin was cut out of his first role in years. Now Brad Pitt is cut out of the role, because of Rance!

AGENT: Brad Pitt IS Rance.

RANCETTE: What!?!? What a stunning revelation! What about his Naomi Watts fascination?

AGENT: He couldn't very well say "Jennifer Aniston is hot" on his blog. That would have given it away. That's why he sneakily remarked he liked Naomi Watts, lying through his teeth.

RANCETTE: They should get Naomi to play Anna!

AGENT: No, Brad refuses to work with her. Anyway, there's no point in discussing this. You have been fired without any pay. There's no way you could re-write everything without starting from scratch. You changed everything. They don't like the fact that Rose's husband isn't Clyde. That he's her lover and that other guy is her husband. In the original story, Rose and Clyde died. That is the foundation of our story, here.

RANCETTE: Her husband's name is Bill. If you even read the script, you might have been able to stand up for my creative decisions a little better.

AGENT: They don't like the fact that Bill killed Anna. And then killed himself. That wasn't the murder/suicide they had in mind. And Clyde is Lily's great-great grandfather, not her grandfather.

RANCETTE: Well, it was necessary, because I wanted Clyde to meet Lily. But he had to kidnap her.

AGENT: There are other things. Sara was a baby in your script. In the original "Pardon the Interruption" she was grown up. Could Rose have even had a baby at her age? Like I said, they don't like the changes. Too bad.

RANCETTE: But Bill discovers Sara is not really his baby. It's Clyde's baby, but Bill doesn't know that. He becomes with Anna for cheating on him that he shoots her, then himself. Crime of passion.

AGENT: So why did Clyde kidnapped Lily if he was her grandfather?

RANCETTE: He was estranged from his daughter, so he never had seen Lily. Once Sara, the secret love child, discovers the truth about her mother, she wants nothing to do with Clyde. She blames her father for her mother Rose's death. Clyde, who is now so old that he's ready to die any second, wanted to meet Lily; it was his dying wish.

AGENT: That is just the lamest thing I've ever heard. How would a dying man be able to kidnap a kid? Especially a mischievous one like Lily. Why would any one shell out money to see your film?

RANCETTE: Well, why don't you write the script?

AGENT: Because they've already replaced you with Ken!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Posted by captainhoof at 11:33 AM CDT
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Thursday, 30 September 2004
P.T.I. Part 10 by Snubby
"Because," Lily stammered, "because, well..."

The young girl reached to her left shoulder, and then her right, to remove her worn red backpack. She placed the sack upon the table and pulled open the drawstring to reveal an antique book; something that resembled a journal.

"Read this," she instructed Anna.

Anna accepted the faded leather-bound volume and gingerly opened the cover and fingered back the first few pages. She came to a soft scroll "It's about holding onto love; no matter what the circumstances. Love is hard to find, but when it's there, it will never leave you."

Over Anna's shoulder Lily stood, mouthing the words softly as she read along. She then interrupted Anna's curiosity by adding "And with all the weird things that have happened in my family, it helps to know that it was all because of love."

"This is the story my mother told me," she continued. "In the 1920's, my Great Great Grandmother, Rose, was visiting Paris with her family. She was only 16, but during one forbidden night upon the town, she met a strikingly handsome stranger in a jazz hall."

Anna continued to read the lovingly penned words as she faded into the hazy dance club she had dreamed of just last night.

-----

"Pouvons-nous danser?" the deep voice repeated with a hint of amusement. "Yes...Uh, I mean Oui," she glanced toward the floor, wishing she had quipped a more seductive response.

The eyes of her suitor twinkled magically as he gently placed her hand into his and guided her to the dancing frenzy.

"Je m'appelle Jean Luc," he laughed. "But, really, it's okay if you just want to call me John."

Her nervousness melted away with a warm giggle as she answered, "I am Rose."

"Ah, but no less," and he swirled her away onto the shiny marbled tiles of the dance floor.

No sooner than they joined hands and began to shimmy to the music, the heel on Rose's shoe broke and her knee buckled with a jolt.

John's strong hands held her tight as she looked up at him in an apologetic embarrassment.

"Perhaps, fate has more in store for us than just a dance." He whisked her off of the floor; draped his dark, tailored jacket across her shoulders; and they left for the fresh night air beyond the hall.

-----

"Into the wee hours of the morning, they walked and talked as if they had waited their entire lives for this chance meeting," Lily elaborated. "Over the next four months, they embarked on a magical, although dangerously forbidden, whirlwind romance along the banks of the River Seine. Soon, it was time for Rose to return to the states. John was to remain in Paris on business and she knew she would miss him dearly."

Anna flipped through a few more pages while Lily spoke behind her. Any eavesdropper would be amused at such romantic fantasy flowing from the mouth of an 8-year-old, but Anna knew that these passionate words before her were just the beginning of the mystery that was now hers to unravel.

Anna wanted to keep an eye out for Deputy Kaelin, but she was so mesmerized by this history, she couldn't bear to lift her eyes from the book. It was all so exciting, she just wasn't sure where to start. She thumbed through the pages, reading an assortment of lines here and there.

February 11, 1921... I received my first letter from John. His words are filled with such love, I know we will meet again!

August 29, 1921... Oh, how I miss holding him close!A The warmth and strength of his embrace. His words keep me strong, yet they make me long for him even more!

June 17, 1922... It feels like so long ago. And then I read his sweet words. And it feels like only yesterday that we held each other close.

March 16, 1923...A John says business is going well and he may return sooner than expected. I shall not slumber until I hear those magic words!

January 8, 1924... Oh, how I still await the touch of my John. I wish his business well, but I would rather love in poverty than wait for riches. John, come soon!

September 2, 1924... He is still waiting for some deals to come through, but he will return soon, and then nothing shall keep us apart.

July 29, 1925... John's letter says he is returning to Chalmette, Louisiana within a matter of months. Should I tell father about him?

April 22, 1926... John has returned to the states! As soon as he gets settled in, he will come to Alabama and we shall return to Louisiana to marry.

December, 13 1926... Father wants me to marry Clyde Canter. He thinks that this will further his holdings in the textile industry. I will hear nothing of the sort. John and I will be together shortly.

February 16, 1927... Leaving today to be with my beloved John down in Chalmette...

Anna looked up at Lily to question why such an important event was stopped so abruptly.

Lily continued as if on cue, "Rose didn't want to marry Clyde, so she ran to John. Although almost seven years had passed, their feelings for one another were just as strong in the swampy depths of the bayou as they had been under the moonlight on the River Seine.

John proposed to her almost immediately with a ravishing jewelry set that he had bought while they were in Paris together. He never had the chance to give Rose her gift then; so for seven years, John had kept the blue velvet case in his dark coat pocket. He knew they would be together.

He lovingly placed the pin upon Rose's breast and explained the inscription Omnia Vincit Amor meant they would never again be apart. He showed her the matching pendant, whose ruby shone like fire in the lamplight, and teased that it would be hers to wear upon her neck on their wedding night.

By morning light, the chance for love was again shattered by the cries of Rose's father. He and a pack of his drunken, heavily-armed partners grabbed Rose out of her bed and brought her back to the fields of Alabama.

Against her protest, the arrangements were made, and Rose was wed to Clyde Canter. Although a great union was created in the textile industry, Rose felt lost without hearing from John.

On her wedding night, Rose looked forlornly into her vanity mirror. Tears streamed gently and quietly from her reddened emerald green eyes as she slowly ran the brush through her soft, golden hair. Clyde came behind Rose and stroked her bare shoulders. Chills ran through her body as Clyde tried to calm her.

"Rose, please, give me a chance. Maybe one day you can love me as you have loved another. You will see that I understand."

Rose looked in the mirror towards his eyes reflecting down upon her. He reached his left hand into his pocket and returned it to her neck with a sterling silver necklace. He draped the chain around her neck and gently fastened it in the back as the ruby pendant fell towards her breast. Immediately, she gasped in recognition of this symbol of love from her John. She clutched the pendant with tears stinging in her eyes.

"You will see that I understand," Clyde repeated with a twisted smile upon his face.

Rose twisted the pendant to read the inscription "Memento Mori" and all the life drained from her body as she fell to a crumpled heap at the floor of her vanity.


Posted by captainhoof at 5:01 AM CDT
Updated: Friday, 1 October 2004 1:57 PM CDT
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Tuesday, 28 September 2004
The Administrative Staff Speaks
Pardon the interruption from the terrific "Pardon the Interruption" series. I am called Captain Hoof. I set up this site last December and have since been primarily responsible for moderating the comments. As a reward, I have been given this space today so that my friends and I might subvert the government.

Recently we--a small group of entertainment and political professionals--banded together convince Ralph Nader constituents to vote for Kerry. It's a relatively minor battle, but, as a World Series game can be decided by an inch, a potentially critical one--we were presented with several scenarios whereby Nader votes could swing three states (see Stopnader.com (not as outlandish--or even partisan--as it might first seem).

Our problem: For years now, Democrats have been trying in vain to convince Nader loyalists that a vote for him, ironically, equates to a vote against their own liberal ideals. In the words of Rance, "It's been like telling Gandhi's supporters that if Mahatma won't eat, his health will suffer."

Our hope: That there's an effective strategy yet to be tried. In seeking it, we asked ourselves, "What would Karl Rove do?" In reality, ironically, he's boosting Nader in the battleground states. But what if he were on our side (and no one kicked him out of the room?) We speculated that rather than attempt to discredit Nader's position, he'd create doubts about Nader himself. That, we realized, we could do without twisting a fact by so much as a degree.

As it happens, when questioned on the issues, Nader responds with the succinctness and intelligence with which he won his reputation as a brilliant consumer advocate and patriot. When asked his motivation for seeking the Presidency, however, time and again his responses require a calculator and a degree in philosophy to follow. The sum total, we think, is ego.

After the digital equivalent of crumpling hundreds of pieces of paper laden with ideas of how to adequately communicate this, it occurred to us that it could be done by coining a single phrase:

MASTURNADER.

We want voters who care about the things Nader cares about (other than himself) to feel encumbered by the notion that they are "masturnaders" if they pull the lever (as it were) for him.

Our initial step is a brief film. It is being launched today on atomfilms.com.

It is our hope that you will watch it and send the link to any masturnaders you know.

Thank you,

Captain Hoof


Administrative Note:

In the upcoming weeks, expect another post from Rance in response to a comment that affected both his piss and vinegar counts.

Posted by captainhoof at 5:01 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 28 September 2004 11:16 AM CDT
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Monday, 27 September 2004
Part 9 By Private Dick
A young girl named Lily was seated in the bushes outside Anna's house early the following morning. She was about 8 years old and had golden blond hair that reached down to her waist. Dressed in a flower-print dress that her mother had almost assuredly picked out for her, she was
hunched over in the bushes that ran around Anna's house, watching and waiting.

She saw Anna pull the curtains apart in her bedroom at around 10:00AM, then disappear for some time. A little while later, Anna was in her kitchen eating a bowl of cereal in what seemed like a rush. Then Anna was on the phone making calls.

A red sedan suddenly pulled up, and Lily had to duck deeper into the bushes to make sure she wasn't seen. The car parked in the driveway, and a police officer got out. Lily panicked. Had her plan somehow been discovered by the cops already?

But no, the officer appeared to have some business with Anna. He knocked on the door, and Anna came out. He handed her the keys, but that wasn't all ...they started talking, and soon they were deep in conversation. Now was her chance.

Lily bolted from her hiding spot and ran around the corner to the side of the house, then pushed through the bushes and up to the backdoor. She tried the knob and found it unlocked. She ran into the house and found herself in a small living room. Her eyes darted across all open surfaces searching for the item that had been taken from her, had been stolen from her at the auction. Lily figured it would be in plain sight, as Anna had only brought it home a day ago. It was unlikely that it would already be relegated to the back of a drawer so quickly.

But as far as she could tell, it wasn't in this room. Oh, how she had saved up her money for it. Worked numerous chores for neighbors, mowed lawns, weeded gardens, sold lemonade ??" everything, so that when the item would come up for sale at the auction, she would be able to make the purchase and finally have it in her possession again. And
who would bid against a cute 10 year old who seemed to only want the pin to play dress-up with? If anyone bid against her, a pair of Bambi eyes would be more than enough to stop her rival bidders from getting in her way.

But Bambi eyes hadn't been enough. She hadn't counted on an outsider being at the auction, someone who didn't understand how the town worked. Lily saw two doors leading out of the living room ...one to the kitchen and the front door beyond, and another to Anna's bedroom.
She glanced out the kitchen door and saw Anna still talking with the police officer. Excellent, she thought, and made her way into the bedroom.

It only took a quick sweep of the room before Lily laid her eyes on the pin...it was resting on the bedside table next to Anna's bed. Oh she had waited so long for this moment. Her hand quickly descended towards the item, and her hand wrapped around it. A surge of warmth seemed to flow through her body as she picked it up. She turned
around and quickly ran out of the bedroom -

And right into Anna. Several moments of silence passed.

"Excuse me, but aren't you the girl from the auction?" Anna asked, eyeing the pin in her hand. "What are you doing here?"

"This is mine," Lily said back, with anger and embarrassment clouding her eyes.

"Well maybe I can let you have it," Anna said. "But you're going to have to tell me why its so important to you. It has quite a history, but no one else seems to care about owning it one way or the other."

Lily remained mum. Anna sighed.

"You know, my friend the police officer is probably--"

"NO!" Lily cried. "Don't do that!"

"Then tell me why you want this pin so badly," said Anna. "It's clear that it means more to you than just a piece of toy jewelry."

The anger left Lily's eyes, and for a moment, she looked scared. "Because," she began, "because of ..."

Posted by captainhoof at 11:08 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 28 September 2004 3:54 PM CDT
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Friday, 24 September 2004
PARDON THE INTERRUPTION PART 8 by WendyJo
Suddenly breaking free from the deputy...

Sam was slobbering, delusional, wild-eyed. The little monkey-like man reeked of V.O. and B.O., the twin scents intertwined together in a dance of death for the nearest olfactory sense. Intermittently mumbling and shrieking, he turned to Anna and screamed, "DIILL, DILLLLYY PICKLES!!! Atticus, Atticus!!! Let down your hair!!! Save our Hostess Ho Ho's!!" He lurched over to Anna and squeezed her upper arm. Leering at her, he whispered in a split-second moment of clarity- "Fear the curse-" Anna gave a surprised jump away from Sam and pulled her arm back to herself.

Deputy Kaelin and the other deputy surrounded Sam, pulled his long arms behind his back and handcuffed them. "Enough excitement for everyone today, Sam", Kaelin brusquely voiced. The deputies led Sam away to the cruiser. "Bubba, take Sam to Lock-Up with Stan. For twenty four hours. Now."

Deputy Kaelin walked back to Anna. "Ma'am, I want to apologize for both Stan's and Sam's behavior. When they get their juice on, neither Sears brand appliance nor man is safe. Let me just take you home. Shall we set a date for tomorrow, same time, same place? Bubba will go to the diner and pick up your vehicle for you in the morning."

Dusk was settling into this small dusty town in the middle of nowhere, Alabama, and Anna was shaken and exhausted. "Yes, thank you, Deputy Kaelin." she replied. "This will give you an opportunity to look at the voodoo fetish left at my front door."

Kaelin held the cruiser door open for Anna. "Deputy," Anna began, "I think I deserve an explanation--is there some sort of story behind this pin?"

Deputy Kaelin gave a nervous chuckle. "I'll tell you all that I know, Ms. Montoya."

Turning down the road, Kaelin began. "Recall this was back in '44. Anthony stumbled upon the bodies of Rose and Clyde, this we know. He then placed one phone call from the crime scene to Sheriff McHaney to report the gruesome discovery. When Sheriff McHaney arrived on scene Anthony was nowhere to be found. He would later discover that the daughter, Sara, had also mysteriously vanished. At the outset of the investigation Sheriff McHaney searched the room in town where Anthony was staying. Everything was in place and the owners had seen no one coming or going. Not even Anthony. The only thing of interest found was a receipt for the sale of the pin you now own. As you know, the pin belonged to Rose, but someone, on the day of her death, had pawned it to a local shop along with another piece, a pendant. This pendant, according to the tradesman, was a sister piece being that it complimented the pin and the two could be worn together. Upon questioning the shop owner the Sheriff found out two things. One, the person who sold the pieces was not Anthony and two, the pendant had already been sold to a cash paying customer. The Sheriff confiscated your pin as evidence. As fate would have it, he would not be re-elected for another term and his successor classified the case a murder/suicide and closed the file. Your pin wound up on the auction block as the result of a thorough Spring cleaning of the evidence room. There's some gossip around town claiming that pin is cursed. Don't believe the old biddies around these parts, they'll tell a tale taller than any self-respecting fisherman. As to this memento mori that you speak of, I've never heard of such." He scoffed.

Anna had a queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach that Kaelin was holding something back. "But you will see," she said. "At my front door."

But when they arrived at Anna's, the fetish had disappeared. The area was wiped clean, like nothing had been there. What the hell kind of place is this? Had it all been in her mind? Anna began to bluster in frustration and anger. "It was here! There was blood....it was disgusting! What happened?"

Deputy Kaelin soothed to her, "It's been quite a day. You have been in an accident, you hit your head on the dashboard. Get some rest, and we'll talk some more tomorrow. Joe's Diner, 7 P.M., OK?"

"Fine, fine," Anna sighed. "Tomorrow."

Anna unlocked her door, walked inside, and dropped her keys with a soft clinking sound into a dish on the oak console table in the foyer. Her footsteps echoed in the hallway of her empty, darkened home. She turned into the doorway of her small home office and sat down at her computer workdesk. She turned on the lamp and slumped at her chair, elbows on the desktop. Exhausted, her mind wandered over the events of the day.

Who would have ever guessed that her move to this town would have been so stressful? The very reason she moved to Opelika was to escape from the painful memories of her recent divorce, the express-train speed of city life, and the pressures of an editorial position at the Times-Journal. This move was intended to be a return to her roots and to an inner peace, as it were. She pulled the pin out of her purse and held it up in the low light of the lamp. The beautiful 1920 Deco piece gave off a soft glow, each stone with its own reflection, and seemingly its own story to tell. She turned the pin over and once again read the engraving. "Omnia vincit amor", she whispered to herself. And now a possible pendant, "Memento mori". One, the gift of love, the other, a reminder of death....the mysterious murder/suicide of Rose and Clyde in 1944...the jogger...and why did Sam yell "Atticus, Atticus" this afternoon? With a slight smile, Anna thought back to Mr. Bud and young Lily at the auction house. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Mr. Bud did remind her a bit of a Bob Ewell type. Was Sam trying to tell her or warn her about something? Or was it just the V.O. talking? And aahh yes, the jeweler Kaelin mentioned. Anna wasn't about to wait till tomorrow night and her dinner with Kaelin for more explanation. After finding that voodoo curse, her own life may very well be in danger. She was going to do some investigating on her own. Opening a desk drawer, she pulled out a phone book. Running her finger down a page, she found where she would start asking questions in the morning....

Dealer Dan's Pawn, Tackle and Munitions

---One Stop, Sell and Shop---

(334) 887-6777

Hopefully, the business would have records and or still be in the family of the original owner and someone would know the story and be able to help. Anna's eyelids grew heavier and heavier. She slowly laid her head down on top of her desk, and began to dream a colorful dream, full of shifting and haunting images...

-----------------------------------------

Septembre, 1920

Rue de Lombards, Paris, France

Sixteen year old Rose Haygood stood by herself in the corner of the nightclub, nervously fingering an errant curl on the side of her newly bobbed hair. Brassy jazz music filled the air as bright young things, fresh and alive, danced the Charleston, heels kicking and necklaces swinging, bottles of wine free-flowing. Rose, the daughter of a wealthy Alabama landowner and textiles magnate, had managed to slip away from the watchful eyes of both her mother and nanny, and she wanted to experience Paris at its fullest. America and Europe were breaking away from staid Edwardian beliefs and prohibition, and Rose wanted to be in the middle of the explosion. Paris, the city of light and of love, was the growing center for the bohemian lifestyle. Alabama was soo flat tire, Rose thought in a huff. Thank goodness she was able to convince her old dapper of the need for a coming-of-age trip to Europe. Through a series of crafty maneuvers and the use of her private-school French, she had been able to escape her family and run off for the evening. Wouldn't it be a real hoot if they sent a private dick after her? She would catch it when she got back to the Ritz-Paris in the morning, but it was worth it.

The band started up again in a fresh and frenetic new tempo. Rose was so flushed with excitement and the urge to dance; she was practically shimmying in place in her t-strap heels. Smoothly weaving through the middle of the pulsing throng of people came a tall, sultry, dark complected young man, full of the attitude of those born to a privileged existence. He stepped in front of Rose, gave a slight bow, and held out his hand.

"Pouvons-nous danser?" he asked, the question slightly tinged with a New Orleans Creole accent.


to be continued......

Posted by captainhoof at 5:01 AM CDT
Updated: Friday, 24 September 2004 6:51 PM CDT
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PARDON THE INTERRUPTION (so far)
A ferris wheel of thrill spun within each time she gazed upon her new found treasure. It was a steal! Drowning amongst a pile of costume jewelry it had surfaced amongst the searching hands of onlookers. At first glance she wasn't sure that it wasn't just another poor man's bauble, but upon closer scrutiny she knew what she had found.

It was a small Art Deco sterling silver pin with one large square cut ruby paste stone centered and surrounded by smaller round cut clear paste stones. The pin itself was a solid, retangular shape. From the markings on the back Anna was pretty sure it was a French piece with the date being somewhere around 1910 to 1920. It is easy for the untrained eye to mistake these pieces for mere costume jewelry, but for the sake of value the two should never be confused. She estimated this piece to be worth upwards of $300.00 dollars.

Of even more interest was the engraving on the back. It was rare for these pieces to have any engraving beyond that of the jeweler. She whispered aloud as she read the small cursive lettered words, "Omnia vincit amor". As Anna wasn't fluent in any language outside of her own she wasn't sure of the meaning of the words other than she knew they were French and that "amor" meant love. She discreetly placed it back in the box, burying it well beneath the faux pearl necklaces and cheap plastic trinkets hoping no one else would discover it before the auction began.

She clutched her bidder's number and patiently waited in the sweltering heat for the pin to be put up on the block. She didn't have to wait long. The auctioneer snatched the box up and attempted to sell it piece by piece. Fortunately, those from the small rural community weren't much interested in fake frippery. They were waiting for their turn at bidding on the brand new Kinmore fridge and the farm equipment out back. In fact, there was so little interest the auctioneer decided to sell the entire box as one item.

Anna thought the box was as good as hers since no one in the crowd had been interested in any of the individual items, but when bidding began for the whole shebang she soon learned she was in for a fight...with an 8 year old girl. Apparently, this dear child enjoyed playing dress-up on Saturday afternoons. The box contained the perfect set of accessories for doing so. The little girl bid at will and the auctioneer accommodated her, only allowing the bidding to increase in increments of quarters. "How many quarters can a piggy bank hold?" Anna thought to herself.

When the bidding reached the $10.00 mark Anna began to realize the crowd was starting to turn on her, glaring at her in distaste, most probably wondering how she could be waging battle against a sweet little girl for a box of costume jewelry. Things were fixing to get ugly.

The small girl turned and gave Anna a pitiful look. She realized, staring into the child's big blue eyes that the girl was frightened and desperate to win the bidding. A man standing behind the girl brought his big hands up and clamped onto her shoulders. He leaned down and whispered something in her ear.

"$20.00!" Anna yelled, making a split-second decision. She made her way through the small crowd not showing any signs of regret.

She didn't know this town. As a new-comer she would rather have started out in this community on a happier note. But this way she could have her treasure and please the crowd as well. Forking over the 20, she took possession of the box and turned, instantly colliding with a man behind her.The box flew out of her hands and jewelry scattered.

"Whoa!" The man jumped backwards and looked down at the dry grass. He bent and began collecting the shiny pieces.

"Sorry, ma'am, but you need to slow yourself down, there." He took the box out of her hand and dropped a few pieces in it. Pushing his hat back, he held the box and stretched out his hand to her.

"Deputy Kaelin, Miss.......err, I 'm sorry I don't know your full name."

Anna was busy scanning the ground for the piece she wanted. Finding it just to the right of the deputy's boot she bent down for it.

"OH!" She came up pleased and slipped it into her pocket. She stepped back and looked up at this big palooka.

"You're not going to arrest me, are you?"

"No. Why would I do that?" The deputy scratched his head and handed her the box.

"For stealing that poor child's treasure." Anna held the box while he filled it.

"Well, that's mean, but you can't serve time for being an ass." He stood up with the last small gold chain and held it over the top of the box.

The redhead sneered and snapped the box closed, barely missing his fingers. She turned and marched back through the crowd until she located the little bidder. Tapping the child on one thin shoulder she was shocked at the pale girl's sad little face when it turned upward.

"Here, sweetie." She said handing over the silver box. Instantly the tiny face lit up as she took it into her small hands.

"Why you doin' that?" The man stepped up beside the girl. He and the child both wore old patched overalls. The difference being the man's front bib was stained with tobacco juice. Anna looked into the ugly, mean face. It was a bogeyman's face. A Bob Ewell face. He grabbed the box from the girl's hands.

"You trying to sell it? You think we can pay more?" He growled at her.

"No, Mr. Bud. I think she was being nice. Just giving it to Lily." The deputy appeared out of the crowd before Anna could answer.

"Yes, that's all. I saw how much she wanted it and I wanted to....you know....." She piped in.

The scruffy man handed the box back to his daughter. Without a thank you, he turned, ordering Lily to follow.

"Thank you." The smile on the child's face was nice, making Anna glad she had done this good deed.

As they watched the pair trail off, the country lawman leaned toward her.

"So, what's with the pin? How much is it worth? You do know why they wanted it don't you?"

Anna frowned. "Deputy....uh....what?

"Kaelin."

She laughed. "Your first name isn't Kato is it?"

**********************

I had no idea how long I had been inside that Kenmore Refrigerator when I woke up, my drool completely stuck to an ice cube tray. It could have been a week, but was probably more like six hours. I had spent the night before dying in the humid summer swelter of whatever crapbox town this was. I can't even remember what band I rode in here with. Was it the Goo Goo Dolls? No, those guys are posers. Was it Alice Cooper? I wish, but he won't answer my calls anymore since I told his wife I'd like to stroke her with my golf club. Maybe it was Journey...yeah, that's it. Journey.

Anyway, after the show I decided to head down into the labyrinth of a state fair that Journey had just rocked with their sweet early eighties power ballads. I had made it as far as the Pamida parking lot when I realized that I was completely sober for the first time in seven months. And that just isn't right. The last time I'd been sober was when I was touring with Jars of Clay, and all I could do was get drunk off of cooking wine. I couldn't drink again for a week. That crap is so salty it sank my eyes into my head making even scary old men with similarly sunken eyes run from me in fear. During that week I toured with Slipknot. That was fun.

Back to being sober in the parking lot: I was pissed off, how dare I let myself be normal?? I looked around and for some reason there was a fridge sitting next to a truck by the Casey's gas station next door. This confused me. "Maybe I'm not sober, maybe I'm so drunk that I'm thinking that I'm sober which in turn is causing me to then ponder if I am in fact drunk." I said this out loud, and when hearing the words and completely complex sentences that had past through my lips and soaked into my ear drums, I quickly freaked out. I was sober, and this was scary. I took a few minutes to lie crying softly in the fetal position right there in the Pamida parking lot. Then I got up, ran across the street and climbed inside that fridge. I figured, if it's not full of anything that can kill me, then at least it's like my mom, cold and unusually pale.

The next thing I knew, I was stuck to the ice cube tray, and for some reason there was a guy talking really fast, banging a gavel every minute. I thought I was back in court. The last time I was in court was for stealing Snoop Dogg's car and writing "Murder was the case that they framed me, bitch" on the hood. This would have been funny to Snoop, but I accidentally drove the car into the porch of the L.A. district attorney's mistress's house.

Thinking that I was back in court I completely lost it, and decided to try and make a get away.

I pounced out of the fridge screaming, "You can't keep me in a cage!! Axis of Evil! Evil Nixon Grin!! Attica Attica!!! No new taxes, no new taxes!! Michael's nose isn't real!!" It seemed that sobriety had gotten the worst of me, and I was just letting out all the things that bugged me in life. But everything I said just sounded like I was a psycho lunatic, because of the brick of ice sticking to my tongue. I had climbed into the arms of a very nice looking woman who was talking to a guy with the face of Karl Malden. The last thing I remember before passing out right there in her arms was her saying "You're first name isn't Kato is it?" One last scream came from me, "THE GLOVES DIDN'T FIT, THE GLOVES DIDN'T FIT!!" And then I passed out....

******************

"Oh no. Not again." said the deputy. He then pulled a walkie talkie from his back pocket and radioed the station. "This is Deputy Kaelin. Who's turn is it to come down to the auction house and pick up Stan?"

A female voice on the radio crackled "Buzz is on his way."

The deputy looked at Anna and laughed. "Well miss, as you can see, Stan here is a bit of a monkey. This is not the first nor the last time you will see him like this. If you will allow me to take him off your hands, we'll just let him rest comfortably until Buzz gets here."

"Will he be allright?" she asked.

"Oh, no worries my dear. This is nothing out of the ordinary for him. Now, where were we?" he asked.

Anna extended her hand and replied "My name is Annabella Montoya but my friends call me Anna. I was just about to thank you for helping me out with that family. It appears that I may have made a poor first impression upon the folks around here."

"Well they're not too keen on outsiders coming in but you'll give them plenty to gossip about now. There's a story behind the pin that I think you should hear. Do you have time for a cup of coffee?" asked the deputy.

Anna was intrigued. "Sure," she replied.

The deputy asked a burly young man to look after Stan and then the two made their way back to the concession stand amid stares from the locals. The deputy ordered two cups of coffee - both black - and placed one on either side of a picnic table that was located nearby. As Anna and the deputy took their places, she noticed that the other tables around them quickly filled up as well.

"So let me guess," said Anna, "I either took away someone's livlihood on eBay or else I have purchased an item belonging to some sort of local legend."

The deputy grinned. "You could say that. You see, about 60 years ago, there was a murder suicide here involving Rose, the original owner of the pin. Rose and her husband owned a place not too far outside of town and they had a young man working for them. There was an affair and things ended badly. Now, why a 19 year old boy would be attracted to such an older woman is beyond me but that wasn't what was so unusual."

Anna listened intently having so many questions swirling in her mind.

"What was so unusual?" she asked.

"Well, Rose and her husband Clyde had a daughter, Sara. It was said she was a beautiful girl, always under the watchful eyes of her father. But she always would find a way to venture out and cause a stir with her parents and the locals. After her parents were found dead, she was never found. It has always been a mystery." The deputy gave a slight shrug reaching for his coffee.

Puzzled, Anna asked, "What about the young man, was he involved with her disappearance?"

With a smirk the deputy answered, "It depends on who you ask."

About that time a voice came from the walkie talkie, "Deputy Kaelin.."

"Yes", he replied.

"Sir, well, Stan is gone sir."

"But Buzz, you were supposed to pick him up here at the auction house." the deputy said with a squint in his eyes.

"Well sir, I did but I stopped at the donut shoppe and, well, he must have...."

The deputy quickly inserted, "Listen, we will continue this conversation later, now go look for him."

"Yes sir, I'm on it."

Seemingly embarrassed, the deputy said, "As the saying goes, if you want a job done right...I would like to continue our conversation, say later this evening, there is a great little diner in town."

Anna felt slightly unprepared for this invitation, but she knew the story that she had just heard had just scratched the surface...I have so many questions she thought..who was the young man, what was his relationship with Rose, what about the pin and Sara?

Anna looked at the cup of coffee realizing she hadn't even took a drink, cleared her throat and said, "Sure."

"Good", he said with a smile. "It's Joe's diner, in the middle of town, you can't miss it. Meet you there, say, seven."

"Sure, I will see you then." she answered.

As they stood up saying their goodbyes, Anna noticed the locals staring, if not gawking at them. Feeling uncomfortable with the scrutiny she was looking forward to getting in her car and heading to her new found home.

Driving along the country road, Anna observed the breeze blowing through the orchard trees and children riding their bicycles on the newly cemented sidewalk. Peace and tranquility seemed to encompass her as she drove through this small town. But how she pondered...a murder/suicide, a mystery of a lost girl that was never solved. She was looking forward to learning more...

A feeling that quickly turned from mere intellectual curiosity into something more urgent as she pulled up to her new home and stepped out of her car. Anna looked in disbelief at the grisly sight waiting on her doorstep. A circle of carefully placed tiny bones and in the center, what appeared to be a blood-soaked pile of feathers. Anna's eyes followed the smear of blood leading up her door to a grainy black and white blowup of the very treasure safely nestled in her pocket. On the door above it written in paintbrush strokes of blood were the words "Memento mori".

Careful not to touch anything, Anna looked more closely at the photo. Yes, it was her treasure. Yet in the photo, the pin, her pin, appeared to be embedded in the flesh of whoever it was in the picture. She could feel the hair on the back of her neck start to rise, her anger too. She turned on her heel and jumped into her car, determined to find Deputy Kaelin.

Driving down Main Street, she spotted the police car parked in front of the donut shop and the Deputy and Buzz in the midst of loudly wrestling a screeching crazed monkey out of the bar next door. She parked her car next to the police cruiser and waited until they had managed to get Stan under control, something which seemed to consist of waving a bottle of V.O. under his nose and humming Bob Dylan tunes. Stan seemed to be mesmerized by the rye whisky and lost somewhere in his thoughts with the Dylan songs and soon started rocking himself and keening to the music.

"Deputy Kaelin", Anna called. "I need to talk to you, and I don't think this can wait until this evening". "What's up?" he replied with a grin. "Not that I mind seeing you earlier, you're a breath of fresh air in this town". His grin faded as Anna quickly described what she had found on her doorstep. He opened the door to his car and said "Get in, we're going out there to take a look, and I'll fill you in on the story on the way."

Eyes on the road, he started "As I mentioned earlier, both the husband and wife were found dead and the daughter Sara disappeared at the same time. The young man who was working for them was named Anthony and it was he who found the bodies of Rose and Clyde. It was a poorly kept secret at the time that he and Rose were having an affair, and that he had been begging Rose to run away with him back to New Orleans where he came from. "

"New Orleans?" Anne interrupted, "That's odd, that's where I come from, and visibly whoever left their message on my doorstep must have spent some time in those parts too."

"After hearing your description, that thought occurred to me too" said the Deputy. "Anthony was brought in for questioning, but the police didn't have enough evidence to charge him with anything. He was released and shortly thereafter disappeared, leaving behind everything he owned. The police went through his belongings and found the receipt for the pin that you bought today. On the same receipt was another item, a sister piece if you will. No trace of that was ever found."

"A sister pin?!?! Do you think it has some sort of engraving in it as well?"

"You mean something that includes the word "amor"? Deputy Kaelin asked?

He had a mischieveous smile on his face and started grinning at her.

"No." whispered Anna. "Something that includes the word "mori".

"Mori?!?!" asked Kaelin in disbelief.

"Watch out!!!!" Anna shouted. Deputy Kaeline turned his eyes back on the road

but it was too late. He lost control of the steering wheel and the car swirled out of control and crashed

into a giant Kenmore Refrigerator that was standing in the middle of the road.

Both Deputy Kaelin and Anna had hit the dashboard. Kaelin was the first to come back to his senses.

"Are you alright?" There was no reply. "Anna! Anna, are you OK?"

Anna opened her eyes slowly and saw the refrigerator in front them.

"What?" She looked confused.

"Are you hurt?"

"No...Yes...I mean what...what's this?" She asked frantically.

"A refrigerator." Answered Kaelin as a matter of fact.

"I can see that."

"Kenmore I might add..."

Kaelin stepped out the car. Anna followed.

"Don't open it." pleaded Anna

"I have to." Deputy Kaelin stepped closer and began pulling on the fridge door.

"Damn, it's heavy."

"Oh god." Anna took a few steps back.

Deputy Kaelin gave it one more pull and suddenly the door gave away and out jumped Stan all screaming like a maniac. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." Stan was hitting himself on the head.

Both Kato and Anna began screaming as well. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."

"I need my Xanax and Seroqel! Xanax and Seroqel! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!" Stan continued screaming.

Then suddenly out of nowhere he swung his left arm towards them, ready to stab them with what looked like a ball point pen.

Anna screamed "Oh my god, watch out!"

Kato jumped onto Stan to disarm him of the dangerous weapon. A few minutes later Stan was handcuffed and tied to a tree. "You must chill!" said Kato.

Anna in the meantime had found a laptop computer in the fridge, which she decided to power up.

"Look! Look what I found." She exclaimed excitedly.

"This laptop has The Sims 2 on it! I didn't think that was out yet!"

After a few seconds, reality set back in and Anna had a bit of an epiphany, "Wait a minute, didn't you just arrest Stan at the bar a few minutes ago..."

Anna's head started to ache, either from the hard braking or confusion of seeing Stan arrested 2 times in the span of a few minutes in 2 different locations. How could he be chained to a tree after getting into another refrigerator, when he was just in a bar a few minutes ago?

"Ohhhh no no no, this isn't Stan, this is Sam. They're twins. One likes leather, the other likes blue suede... Like Elvis, see the shoes?" Sure enough, the king had left his mark on Sam's feet, a pair of very well kept blue suede shoes.

Shaken up and at her limit, Anna simply lost it. "What the hell kind of town is this? For Christ sake, murders, missing people, old women humping younger men... ok, that's not so bad... AND REFRIDGERATORS THAT HOUSE MAD MEN, TWINS NONE THE LESS, NOT ONE, 2 NUTBALL TWINS! What's next, nuns abusing alter boys instead of priests at the local church, Liberals cutting down surrounding forests?" There was no reply, just a dazed look in the lawman's face.

Anna continued, "Republicans that don't own guns?!"

The deputy replies with a well disguised grin, "You know about the Andersons already?"

Anna was not pleased with Kaelin's response, for the first 4 seconds anyway. She then broke out into laughter that seemed to cleanse her soul for the time being along side her companion.

In the midst of the chaos, a jogger approached, not saying a word. An interesting figure to say the least. Short, stocky, but making a pretty good pace. The hoody he or she was wearing was preventing any glimpse of the face, only a slight twinkle of what appeared to be glass could be seen from almost 100 yards away, that and all grey sweat clothes. The jogger came to a halt.

Anna gazed at the figure in the distance, seeing what she thought was a smear of some kind on the gray clothing in the moonlight that was breaking through the twilight darkness from behind her. She was only looking for about 15 seconds, or so she thought.

"anna....Anna... ANNA!"

She jumped a few inches as a hand touched her shoulder and the Deputy's voice was raised to a level she felt could wake the dead.

"OH MY GOD, DON'T DO THAT!"

Kaelin speaks as if he thinks she's acting a little too princess-like, "Well, Anna, I've been trying to get your attention for a couple minutes now..."

She whips around to make eye contact, "No, I looked at my watch as we left together and it was 6:30, we've been here about 5 minutes and it's now..." The watch wouldn't lie for her, it was now almost 7pm. Had she really been staring for more then 5 minutes at the figure that's right over...

No where. The jogger was gone.

"Who was that person?" she asks.

"Who, Sam?"

"NO, the jogger that was coming toward us from down the road." She was now feeling 2 things, Kaelin is an idiot, or she was the only real nutball here.

"Did you steal Sam or Stan's medication?"

Yeah, this was going to be a long night.

After another deputy came to unchain Sam and transport him to a cell next to his brother, Anna realized that she was really famished.

"Can we get some food before we go any further? I don't care where, just somewhere that I can sit down... and vomit in a decently clean women's room if I need to."

Suddenly breaking free from the deputy...

Sam was slobbering, delusional, wild-eyed. The little monkey-like man reeked of V.O. and B.O., the twin scents intertwined together in a dance of death for the nearest olfactory sense. Intermittently mumbling and shrieking, he turned to Anna and screamed, "DIILL, DILLLLYY PICKLES!!! Atticus, Atticus!!! Let down your hair!!! Save our Hostess Ho Ho's!!" He lurched over to Anna and squeezed her upper arm. Leering at her, he whispered in a split-second moment of clarity- "Fear the curse-" Anna gave a surprised jump away from Sam and pulled her arm back to herself.

Deputy Kaelin and the other deputy surrounded Sam, pulled his long arms behind his back and handcuffed them. "Enough excitement for everyone today, Sam", Kaelin brusquely voiced. The deputies led Sam away to the cruiser. "Bubba, take Sam to Lock-Up with Stan. For twenty four hours. Now."

Deputy Kaelin walked back to Anna. "Ma'am, I want to apologize for both Stan's and Sam's behavior. When they get their juice on, neither Sears brand appliance nor man is safe. Let me just take you home. Shall we set a date for tomorrow, same time, same place? Bubba will go to the diner and pick up your vehicle for you in the morning."

Dusk was settling into this small dusty town in the middle of nowhere, Alabama, and Anna was shaken and exhausted. "Yes, thank you, Deputy Kaelin." she replied. "This will give you an opportunity to look at the voodoo fetish left at my front door."

Kaelin held the cruiser door open for Anna. "Deputy," Anna began, "I think I deserve an explanation--is there some sort of story behind this pin?"

Deputy Kaelin gave a nervous chuckle. "I'll tell you all that I know, Ms. Montoya."

Turning down the road, Kaelin began. "Recall this was back in '44. Anthony stumbled upon the bodies of Rose and Clyde, this we know. He then placed one phone call from the crime scene to Sheriff McHaney to report the gruesome discovery. When Sheriff McHaney arrived on scene Anthony was nowhere to be found. He would later discover that the daughter, Sara, had also mysteriously vanished. At the outset of the investigation Sheriff McHaney searched the room in town where Anthony was staying. Everything was in place and the owners had seen no one coming or going. Not even Anthony. The only thing of interest found was a receipt for the sale of the pin you now own. As you know, the pin belonged to Rose, but someone, on the day of her death, had pawned it to a local shop along with another piece, a pendant. This pendant, according to the tradesman, was a sister piece being that it complimented the pin and the two could be worn together. Upon questioning the shop owner the Sheriff found out two things. One, the person who sold the pieces was not Anthony and two, the pendant had already been sold to a cash paying customer. The Sheriff confiscated your pin as evidence. As fate would have it, he would not be re-elected for another term and his successor classified the case a murder/suicide and closed the file. Your pin wound up on the auction block as the result of a thorough Spring cleaning of the evidence room. There's some gossip around town claiming that pin is cursed. Don't believe the old biddies around these parts, they'll tell a tale taller than any self-respecting fisherman. As to this memento mori that you speak of, I've never heard of such." He scoffed.

Anna had a queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach that Kaelin was holding something back. "But you will see," she said. "At my front door."

But when they arrived at Anna's, the fetish had disappeared. The area was wiped clean, like nothing had been there. What the hell kind of place is this? Had it all been in her mind? Anna began to bluster in frustration and anger. "It was here! There was blood....it was disgusting! What happened?"

Deputy Kaelin soothed to her, "It's been quite a day. You have been in an accident, you hit your head on the dashboard. Get some rest, and we'll talk some more tomorrow. Joe's Diner, 7 P.M., OK?"

"Fine, fine," Anna sighed. "Tomorrow."

Anna unlocked her door, walked inside, and dropped her keys with a soft clinking sound into a dish on the oak console table in the foyer. Her footsteps echoed in the hallway of her empty, darkened home. She turned into the doorway of her small home office and sat down at her computer workdesk. She turned on the lamp and slumped at her chair, elbows on the desktop. Exhausted, her mind wandered over the events of the day.

Who would have ever guessed that her move to this town would have been so stressful? The very reason she moved to Opelika was to escape from the painful memories of her recent divorce, the express-train speed of city life, and the pressures of an editorial position at the Times-Journal. This move was intended to be a return to her roots and to an inner peace, as it were. She pulled the pin out of her purse and held it up in the low light of the lamp. The beautiful 1920 Deco piece gave off a soft glow, each stone with its own reflection, and seemingly its own story to tell. She turned the pin over and once again read the engraving. "Omnia vincit amor", she whispered to herself. And now a possible pendant, "Memento mori". One, the gift of love, the other, a reminder of death....the mysterious murder/suicide of Rose and Clyde in 1944...the jogger...and why did Sam yell "Atticus, Atticus" this afternoon? With a slight smile, Anna thought back to Mr. Bud and young Lily at the auction house. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Mr. Bud did remind her a bit of a Bob Ewell type. Was Sam trying to tell her or warn her about something? Or was it just the V.O. talking? And aahh yes, the jeweler Kaelin mentioned. Anna wasn't about to wait till tomorrow night and her dinner with Kaelin for more explanation. After finding that voodoo curse, her own life may very well be in danger. She was going to do some investigating on her own. Opening a desk drawer, she pulled out a phone book. Running her finger down a page, she found where she would start asking questions in the morning....

Dealer Dan's Pawn, Tackle and Munitions

---One Stop, Sell and Shop---

(334) 887-6777

Hopefully, the business would have records and or still be in the family of the original owner and someone would know the story and be able to help. Anna's eyelids grew heavier and heavier. She slowly laid her head down on top of her desk, and began to dream a colorful dream, full of shifting and haunting images...

-----------------------------------------

Septembre, 1920

Rue de Lombards, Paris, France

Sixteen year old Rose Haygood stood by herself in the corner of the nightclub, nervously fingering an errant curl on the side of her newly bobbed hair. Brassy jazz music filled the air as bright young things, fresh and alive, danced the Charleston, heels kicking and necklaces swinging, bottles of wine free-flowing. Rose, the daughter of a wealthy Alabama landowner and textiles magnate, had managed to slip away from the watchful eyes of both her mother and nanny, and she wanted to experience Paris at its fullest. America and Europe were breaking away from staid Edwardian beliefs and prohibition, and Rose wanted to be in the middle of the explosion. Paris, the city of light and of love, was the growing center for the bohemian lifestyle. Alabama was soo flat tire, Rose thought in a huff. Thank goodness she was able to convince her old dapper of the need for a coming-of-age trip to Europe. Through a series of crafty maneuvers and the use of her private-school French, she had been able to escape her family and run off for the evening. Wouldn't it be a real hoot if they sent a private dick after her? She would catch it when she got back to the Ritz-Paris in the morning, but it was worth it.

The band started up again in a fresh and frenetic new tempo. Rose was so flushed with excitement and the urge to dance; she was practically shimmying in place in her t-strap heels. Smoothly weaving through the middle of the pulsing throng of people came a tall, sultry, dark complected young man, full of the attitude of those born to a privileged existence. He stepped in front of Rose, gave a slight bow, and held out his hand.

"Pouvons-nous danser?" he asked, the question slightly tinged with a New Orleans Creole accent.




Posted by captainhoof at 5:01 AM CDT
Updated: Friday, 24 September 2004 6:49 PM CDT
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Thursday, 23 September 2004
Part 7 by Mikeeeeeee
"This laptop has The Sims 2 on it! I didn't think that was out yet!"

After a few seconds, reality set back in and Anna had a bit of an epiphany, "Wait a minute, didn't you just arrest Stan at the bar a few minutes ago..."

Anna's head started to ache, either from the hard braking or confusion of seeing Stan arrested 2 times in the span of a few minutes in 2 different locations. How could he be chained to a tree after getting into another refrigerator, when he was just in a bar a few minutes ago?

"Ohhhh no no no, this isn't Stan, this is Sam. They're twins. One likes leather, the other likes blue suede... Like Elvis, see the shoes?" Sure enough, the king had left his mark on Sam's feet, a pair of very well kept blue suede shoes.

Shaken up and at her limit, Anna simply lost it. "What the hell kind of town is this? For Christ sake, murders, missing people, old women humping younger men... ok, that's not so bad... AND REFRIDGERATORS THAT HOUSE MAD MEN, TWINS NONE THE LESS, NOT ONE, 2 NUTBALL TWINS! What's next, nuns abusing alter boys instead of priests at the local church, Liberals cutting down surrounding forests?" There was no reply, just a dazed look in the lawman's face.

Anna continued, "Republicans that don't own guns?!"

The deputy replies with a well disguised grin, "You know about the Andersons already?"

Anna was not pleased with Kaelin's response, for the first 4 seconds anyway. She then broke out into laughter that seemed to cleanse her soul for the time being along side her companion.

In the midst of the chaos, a jogger approached, not saying a word. An interesting figure to say the least. Short, stocky, but making a pretty good pace. The hoody he or she was wearing was preventing any glimpse of the face, only a slight twinkle of what appeared to be glass could be seen from almost 100 yards away, that and all grey sweat clothes. The jogger came to a halt.

Anna gazed at the figure in the distance, seeing what she thought was a smear of some kind on the gray clothing in the moonlight that was breaking through the twilight darkness from behind her. She was only looking for about 15 seconds, or so she thought.

"anna....Anna... ANNA!"

She jumped a few inches as a hand touched her shoulder and the Deputy's voice was raised to a level she felt could wake the dead.

"OH MY GOD, DON'T DO THAT!"

Kaelin speaks as if he thinks she's acting a little too princess-like, "Well, Anna, I've been trying to get your attention for a couple minutes now..."

She whips around to make eye contact, "No, I looked at my watch as we left together and it was 6:30, we've been here about 5 minutes and it's now..." The watch wouldn't lie for her, it was now almost 7pm. Had she really been staring for more then 5 minutes at the figure that's right over...

No where. The jogger was gone.

"Who was that person?" she asks.

"Who, Sam?"

"NO, the jogger that was coming toward us from down the road." She was now feeling 2 things, Kaelin is an idiot, or she was the only real nutball here.

"Did you steal Sam or Stan's medication?"

Yeah, this was going to be a long night.

After another deputy came to unchain Sam and transport him to a cell next to his brother, Anna realized that she was really famished.

"Can we get some food before we go any further? I don't care where, just somewhere that I can sit down... and vomit in a decently clean women's room if I need to."


TBC by the next writer...

Posted by captainhoof at 11:58 AM CDT
Updated: Thursday, 23 September 2004 1:45 PM CDT
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Drake Amore Ruby Pin

Posted by captainhoof at 11:55 AM CDT
Updated: Friday, 1 October 2004 1:58 PM CDT
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Wednesday, 22 September 2004
PTI Part 6 by Lora
"A sister pin?!?! Do you think it has some sort of engraving in it as well?"

"You mean something that includes the word "amor"? Deputy Kaelin asked?

He had a mischieveous smile on his face and started grinning at her.

"No." whispered Anna. "Something that includes the word "mori".

"Mori?!?!" asked Kaelin in disbelief.

"Watch out!!!!" Anna shouted. Deputy Kaeline turned his eyes back on the road

but it was too late. He lost control of the steering wheel and the car swirled out of control and crashed

into a giant Kenmore Refrigerator that was standing in the middle of the road.

Both Deputy Kaelin and Anna had hit the dashboard. Kaelin was the first to come back to his senses.

"Are you alright?" There was no reply. "Anna! Anna, are you OK?"

Anna opened her eyes slowly and saw the refrigerator in front them.

"What?" She looked confused.

"Are you hurt?"

"No...Yes...I mean what...what's this?" She asked frantically.

"A refrigerator." Answered Kaelin as a matter of fact.

"I can see that."

"Kenmore I might add..."

Kaelin stepped out the car. Anna followed.

"Don't open it." pleaded Anna

"I have to." Deputy Kaelin stepped closer and began pulling on the fridge door.

"Damn, it's heavy."

"Oh god." Anna took a few steps back.

Deputy Kaelin gave it one more pull and suddenly the door gave away and out jumped Stan all screaming like a maniac. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." Stan was hitting himself on the head.

Both Kato and Anna began screaming as well. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."

"I need my Xanax and Seroqel! Xanax and Seroqel! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!" Stan continued screaming.

Then suddenly out of nowhere he swung his left arm towards them, ready to stab them with what looked like a ball point pen.

Anna screamed "Oh my god, watch out!"

Kato jumped onto Stan to disarm him of the dangerous weapon. A few minutes later Stan was handcuffed and tied to a tree. "You must chill!" said Kato.

Anna in the meantime had found a laptop computer in the fridge, which she decided to power up.

"Look! Look what I found." She exclaimed excitedly.

(to be continued)

Posted by captainhoof at 5:01 AM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, 22 September 2004 11:52 AM CDT
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Tuesday, 21 September 2004
Part 5 by JCanuck
A feeling that quickly turned from mere intellectual curiosity into something more urgent as she pulled up to her new home and stepped out of her car. Anna looked in disbelief at the grisly sight waiting on her doorstep. A circle of carefully placed tiny bones and in the center, what appeared to be a blood-soaked pile of feathers. Anna's eyes followed the smear of blood leading up her door to a grainy black and white blowup of the very treasure safely nestled in her pocket. On the door above it written in paintbrush strokes of blood were the words "Memento mori".

Careful not to touch anything, Anna looked more closely at the photo. Yes, it was her treasure. Yet in the photo, the pin, her pin, appeared to be embedded in the flesh of whoever it was in the picture. She could feel the hair on the back of her neck start to rise, her anger too. She turned on her heel and jumped into her car, determined to find Deputy Kaelin.

Driving down Main Street, she spotted the police car parked in front of the donut shop and the Deputy and Buzz in the midst of loudly wrestling a screeching crazed monkey out of the bar next door. She parked her car next to the police cruiser and waited until they had managed to get Stan under control, something which seemed to consist of waving a bottle of V.O. under his nose and humming Bob Dylan tunes. Stan seemed to be mesmerized by the rye whisky and lost somewhere in his thoughts with the Dylan songs and soon started rocking himself and keening to the music.

"Deputy Kaelin", Anna called. "I need to talk to you, and I don't think this can wait until this evening". "What's up?" he replied with a grin. "Not that I mind seeing you earlier, you're a breath of fresh air in this town". His grin faded as Anna quickly described what she had found on her doorstep. He opened the door to his car and said "Get in, we're going out there to take a look, and I'll fill you in on the story on the way."

Eyes on the road, he started "As I mentioned earlier, both the husband and wife were found dead and the daughter Sara disappeared at the same time. The young man who was working for them was named Anthony and it was he who found the bodies of Rose and Clyde. It was a poorly kept secret at the time that he and Rose were having an affair, and that he had been begging Rose to run away with him back to New Orleans where he came from. "

"New Orleans?" Anne interrupted, "That's odd, that's where I come from, and visibly whoever left their message on my doorstep must have spent some time in those parts too."

"After hearing your description, that thought occurred to me too" said the Deputy. "Anthony was brought in for questioning, but the police didn't have enough evidence to charge him with anything. He was released and shortly thereafter disappeared, leaving behind everything he owned. The police went through his belongings and found the receipt for the pin that you bought today. On the same receipt was another item, a sister piece if you will. No trace of that was ever found."

(to be continued)


Posted by captainhoof at 5:01 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 21 September 2004 11:26 AM CDT
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