Pardon the interruption from the terrific "Pardon the Interruption" series. I am called Captain Hoof. I set up this site last December and have since been primarily responsible for moderating the comments. As a reward, I have been given this space today so that my friends and I might subvert the government.
Recently we--a small group of entertainment and political professionals--banded together convince Ralph Nader constituents to vote for Kerry. It's a relatively minor battle, but, as a World Series game can be decided by an inch, a potentially critical one--we were presented with several scenarios whereby Nader votes could swing three states (see Stopnader.com (not as outlandish--or even partisan--as it might first seem).
Our problem: For years now, Democrats have been trying in vain to convince Nader loyalists that a vote for him, ironically, equates to a vote against their own liberal ideals. In the words of Rance, "It's been like telling Gandhi's supporters that if Mahatma won't eat, his health will suffer."
Our hope: That there's an effective strategy yet to be tried. In seeking it, we asked ourselves, "What would Karl Rove do?" In reality, ironically, he's boosting Nader in the battleground states. But what if he were on our side (and no one kicked him out of the room?) We speculated that rather than attempt to discredit Nader's position, he'd create doubts about Nader himself. That, we realized, we could do without twisting a fact by so much as a degree.
As it happens, when questioned on the issues, Nader responds with the succinctness and intelligence with which he won his reputation as a brilliant consumer advocate and patriot. When asked his motivation for seeking the Presidency, however, time and again his responses require a calculator and a degree in philosophy to follow. The sum total, we think, is ego.
After the digital equivalent of crumpling hundreds of pieces of paper laden with ideas of how to adequately communicate this, it occurred to us that it could be done by coining a single phrase:
MASTURNADER.
We want voters who care about the things Nader cares about (other than himself) to feel encumbered by the notion that they are "masturnaders" if they pull the lever (as it were) for him.
Our initial step is a brief film. It is being launched today on atomfilms.com.
It is our hope that you will watch it and send the link to any masturnaders you know.
Thank you,
Captain Hoof
Administrative Note:
In the upcoming weeks, expect another post from Rance in response to a comment that affected both his piss and vinegar counts.
Posted by captainhoof
at 5:01 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 28 September 2004 11:16 AM CDT
