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Rance wuz here...
Wednesday, 13 October 2004
Guest Bloggist: Luke
As we await the next installment of PTI, an essay from the vaults that merited posting months ago....


Name: luke
E-Mail: seternalite@yahoo.com

Topic: What would I do if I had control of Fox Studios for one year?

Fox Studios is really no different than any other studio.

They dangle the mindless lemmings yummy little morsels laced with poison. The mindless lemmings having no mind, have no choice but to swallow the yummy morsels. And thus the phosphorescent minds of the masses are emblazoned; forever.

What would I do if I had "control" of fox for one year? Simple.

Help the ship sink.

Runway models wouldn't disappear when they turned sideways.

The Swan would take Hollywood A-listers and restore their "original" pre-fame looks. Breasts would shrink and sag. Muscles and lips would deflate. Wrinkles would magically appear. Morning rays of genuine character would break through.

Marriages wouldn't be like leases on a new car. Trade-ins wouldn't be accepted. You would be forced to see the mechanic and actually put some effort into building each other's character.

I would admit to all my viewers that I am in charge of collecting advertising dollars at all costs. If there is a big enough market for men who are attracted to sheep, I will find a way to exploit that market. I sell households crack, and that crack doesn't even make you feel all that good. It just fries your brain and buys me time to find out what I will throw at you next. I do not care about freedom, about expression, about art, or about beauty. I only care about what sells. Justification follows and wears different masks; in fact, whatever masks it needs.

I have no political affiliation accept the one that you have. I know you. I know what you want. I feel your pain. We are one. First thing I do when I wake, and last thing I do before I sleep is not tuck my children in, or kiss my wife, or say my prayers thinking of what lies ahead after this life and what I am hear for now. I check the Neilson ratings meter to see how many kiddos have bought my crack today. I wonder if I fooled the sheep lovers into thinking I actually love sheep too?

Don't be a llama America. Don't be a lemming. And for goodness sake, don't be a sheep because Fox and America's males may need your services.

BaaaaAaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaa.

- seternalite


Posted by captainhoof at 11:14 AM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, 13 October 2004 11:17 AM CDT
Post Comment | View Comments (18) | Permalink

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 11:41 AM CDT

Name: Sass

Oh, I do so like that one's bite. Applause, approval,...acclaim. Smart and I think a tad evil and sassy.


Where has this luke/sternalite gone?

later

S

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 11:45 AM CDT

Name: Nicole

If guys were more like Luke, this world would be a better place....except for the crack, not tucking the children in, kissing the wife and saying his prayers part.

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 1:01 PM CDT

Name: Snubby

I was but the occasional lurker back when this subject was on the points list, but that's okay, because I'm sure my ideas would never garner real support in the industry... And, I've already had a Dodge Viper anyway. I traded it in for a Mitsubishi Montero because I got tired of burning my calves on the stupid exhaust...

And I suppose the repost were some good ideas, but if you aren't part of the solution...

I actually have an outline of an educational network that I would love to see go into play; but as I have no idea how to go about starting and running a television network, I guess the only way it would happen is if I ran Fox studios for a year...

My network would serve as the catalyst for educational reform in this country. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with nothing but PURE, GENUINE, eduational content for a variety of educational levels.

And I'm not talking about Teletubbies and Blue's Clues. There really isn't any content out there that I know of tha would be deemed appropriate for my network. The Howard Zinn mini-series sounded like it had potential, but I still haven't seen or heard of that coming to fruition.

Programming would come in a variety of blocking. Think in terms of what "magazine-style" did for reading, this format would do to television. 5, 10, or 15 minute blocks of information. Even commercial style ideas, hints, tips, tidbits, activities, and quizzing.

Before children are squashed to a gruesome death by the politics and limitations of the public school system, almost all are very enthusiastic learners about a variety of subjects. I would choose to capitalize on this innocent, but extreme thirst for knowledge and provide these children with a complete array of non-fiction and creatively appropriate fiction to foster a life-long love of learning, capability, and self-reliance.

All subject matters wold be covered and cross-cultivated to their fullest potentials. Not just science; but biology, anatomy, chemistry, zoology, entomology, geology, and herpetology... just to name a few. Not just "multicultural studies" but a true investigation into worldwide histories, religions, politics, philosophies, peoples, economies, class systems, lifestyles, celebrations, educational beliefs, technologies and antiquities...

Children are not the fumbling fools that our system thinks them to be; however, there currently is an EXTREMELY limited availability of appropriate resources for which they can indulge, enjoy, and prosper.

Think of it this way: For every time your child turned on the television and was bombarded with even the vaguest imagery of sex, drugs, violence, abuse, turmoil, divorce, junk food, useless toys, etcetera... Wouldn't you rather them to have an alternative of switching to a single channel and finding something that was actually INTERESTING? Enlightening? Educational? Something that could help them construct, instead of destroy, the very foundations of their being from which they are expected to survive?

From this network would grow a complete multimedia experience. There would be a website and an online community. There would be an availability of written materials, curriculum ideas, and fun activities that would all be sponsored by APPROPRIATE and complementary product advertising. There would be projects, and contests, and venues for sharing....

Classroom experiences all around the country, and eventually further, could be tied in with the materials and opportunities provided by this network. Schools could be provided technology labs that would link them into the broadcast and students could even create and host a variety of their own programming. News, drama, skits, projects, presentations, penpals....

With the institution of such a network, all learning styles, levels, and abilities would have unlimited opportunities to thrive. From outgoing performers and producers to the introverted and/or physically/mentally/behaviorally challenged.

And as no televised entity should be, this network would not be the be-all, end-all for learning provision; however, it would encourage children and adults to take the interests and knowledge they have acquired and put it to good use in the real world.

Perhaps there is a block on butterflies. The programming higlights the lifecycle of a particular type of butterfly. The programming could encourage the child to go outside and observe caterpillars and butterflies. Perhaps they will want to catch some and construct their own butterfly house.

This blocking could be sponsored by the Smithsonian Natural History Department in conjunction with Butterfly World in Pompano. They could offer free or discounted admission and specialized onsite interaction with a scientiest/doctor to either places by mentioning the broadcast.

You could call the number or log on to the site to order a free or minimally priced curriculum package furthering the study of butterfly lifecycles. The site could offer for sale a variety of visual aids such as cards, posters, models, butterfly houses, books, etc.

Perhaps there could be a photography contest in which students were encouraged to capture striking images of their local species. Winners would receive national recognition along with prize packages prepared by sponsors.

With network ideas as a base, and as a concrete option to encourage parental involvement, think of all the projects that could be springboarded from there. Both at home and in the classroom. Students could keep journals of observations of their captured species, they could write fictional stories and poetry... Create dramatizations of butterflies dancing, design travel brochures to a South American butterfly habitat. All sorts of research could be done on butterlies in different cultures. Do they or have they ever had a medicinal value? How do they reproduce? What sort of economical impact do they have? Are they imported and exported, providing stimulus to third world countries? Do they help or destroy crops? ........


Gosh, I could go on and on...and in far more detail. But, you would really have to be familiar with my educational beliefs, and that is for an entirely different group. I know this isn't the appropriate forum to garner support for such ideas, but since it was tossed back up, I couldn't resist adding my twelve cents. I know I need to befriend the likes of Oprah and Tiger Woods to make something like this happen, but in the meantime, I've got two of my own to worry about.

And I wish that more people could realize that changing the world does start in your own home. And, from there, all good shall radiate.

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 1:29 PM CDT

Name: Slippy
Home Page: http://www.moontower.tk

Damn. I like. Thank you. Would be interesting to hear your views on reality tv...

Or how about 'dem product placements in video games?

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 1:31 PM CDT

Name: waxwing

Was it merely a matter of months ago? Seems longer. No doubt Luke will be mighty surprised to see his Fox studio essay suddenly appear. But after he recovers, I hope an explanation of what it means to be a llama will be forthcoming. I llike llamas, though llike purple cows I'd rather see than be one.

And for R & Admin, a limerick a friend sent me in a recent email. Thought you would enjoy - post or not, just wanted to share this with you:

Relieved of his presidency
George needed a job (finally!)
Though his hopes were diminished
He chose med school--and finished!
Now--at last--there's a Dubya, M.D.

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 1:58 PM CDT

Name: rancette

I was just thinking that I missed posts like the Fox Studios posts. this one came right in time. The fox studios posts on this site were posted right around the time I started reading this blog. *cry* This brings back so many memories. I'm feeling sentimental!

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 2:25 PM CDT

Name: flyrchld
Home Page: http://www.flyrchld.mindsay.com

Cool Hand Luke.

Great job.

fly

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 2:28 PM CDT

Name: Cheryl

Thank you for unearthing that little gem for us, Rance. That was almost poetic. I'm enthralled by the idea of a reverse Swan, and I want to be the first one in line to see Joan Rivers stand in front of that mirror for that first time. It's beyond my conception.
Well, I'm going try to get that mindless lemming eating poison refrane out of my head now. Wish me luck. Put the pipe down, lemmings, and step away slowly...

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 2:49 PM CDT

Name: Ken
Home Page: http://eyecreate.ods.org/blog/

Isn't Rupert Murdoch Australian? no wait, British? Let me try again, American? I think he is trying to be Chinese now in order to expand his global empire of rupertganda. How many citizenships does it take to satisfy his ego and his mania?

From my viewpoint, the problem is much deeper than Fox...

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 2:59 PM CDT

Name: feenxc

well said...well written, luke, wherever you are. such passion...hey rdd, this guy needs to be added to our pti list, if we can locate him. haven't seen any recent posts, hope he's still out there, maybe lurking behind the scenery.

thanks for hanging onto that one, admin. it deserved the attention.

kisshugs, guys

come out, come out, wherever you are, luke

nastrovia

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 4:00 PM CDT

Name: Ms Lauren

you're just a sentimental old fool. ;) of course so am I. I'm still fondly thinking about the post by the woman who wanted FOX studios to make movies with lots of gratuitous male nudity.....but then I'm sure you're surprised to hear me say that. heh.

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 4:06 PM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

I hope this one doesn't turn out to be a duplicate as my last one disappeared...

Yes, feenxc, I agree. I will see if he's still about...

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 4:10 PM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

I would like to know Rance's feelings upon learning that Mickey Mouse and Fred Flinstone are publicly supporting Ralph Nader...

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 5:05 PM CDT

Name: Snubby

I'm not sure if you were talking to me or not, but what the hell... I don't usually miss a chance to voice an opinion. The beauty of me, is that I'm not at a point in my life that I care if anyone is really listening!

I'm not very educated on the ins and outs of "reality" TV... I'm of the school that there is nothing "real" about it. It's characterized, it's scripted, it's falsified, and then it's conveniently edited into a cereal box package.

For starters, the characters they choose are in no way a proper and fitting depiction of "real" people. But, that's kind of irrelevent in the grand scheme of being ridiculous programming all the way through.

It works, however, because people watch what they think they should be watching; and Hollywood admittedly churns out the crap because that's what people are watching. After all, after a certain point, what alternatives do you have?

However, done in a proper context, I think interesting things could be accomplished with "real" reality television.



As far as product placement... I don't know about video games in particular, but I have similar feelings of success lying within proper utilization.

This is by far one of my most multi-faceted subjects of debate.

Status quo, I think product placement is not properly or effectively executed and therefore it hits you square in the face every single time. It needs to be seamless and natural to be beneficial to all parties involved...

I thought Garfield the Movie stunk because it was just a 2 hour commercial...

However, I have entire business plans structuring modern educational systems solely with commercial funding; relying upon very distint product placements, logo allowances, and long-term sponsorships.

Most people don't support the idea because their current exposure to the concept doesn't allow them an unfettered view of the advantages it can offer society.

In a city near me years ago, a school had "Coke Day" in which Coca-Cola sponsored some athletic events at the school. Some smarty-pants moron thought it would be funny to wear a Pepsi shirt. Big deal, right? The school system crucified this poor kid and turned one innocent prank into a national media debacle.

So, because of this, thousands of parents in the district shot down the idea of commercialism having any place within a public school system.

But, you have to take a minute and think hmmm.... If Coke was willing to sponsor some athletic events in exchange for either the exposure; the ability to profit from Coke machines in the lunch room; or sales of their products in any form, shape, or fashion upon school grounds or by the students at any time...Then so beit, and then take it from there.

I guess the difference in my ideas lies within healthy competition among the marketers participating in the programs.

Say, you have an athletic program. Coke can sponsor the Home scoreboard, Pepsi can sponsor the Away scoreboard. Wilson can provide the football equipment, Martin can provide the baseball equipment. Starter can provide the uniforms. etc. Mars can build the concession stands and Heinz can furnish the grills to cook snacks.

Home Depot can sponsor Shop class while Lowe's sponsors Home Ec. Washington Mutual can sponsor an Economics class while Fleet and American Express sponsor a business class.

And with actual complementary sponsors, you get a chance at an improved curriculum. If Bank of America was to have a hand in Home Economics, don't you think they would want to teach students to properly balance a checkbook? Oh, come on, what did YOU learn in home ec that was of any use? I am a homemaker (if you will) and nothing I was taught has any relevance to my daily life.

Maybe if Home Depot sponsored that shop class, instead of making a spice rack for Mother's Day, our students would be taught how to organize a closet. How to properly utilize the space and install appropriate fixturing to get the job done. Now, wouldn't that be a little more ideal? Or how to install a ceiling fan?

How about a company that had their eye on expanding their market into Japan. Perhaps they could sponsor some Japanese language and Eastern Culture classes.

McDonald's could alleviate some of their media stigmatism by sponsoring Health and/or Nutrition classes. I've got no problem with Trojan sponsoring an elective of Sex Education and/or Life Skills.

Invacare could provide wheelchairs and equipment to the schools for the physically challenged, or even to the families themselves. Canon could provide cameras for the photography department, Fuji could provide the film.

I feel that typical marketing tactics when utilized together with the sponsorships can boost the revenue for the corporate providers. If Iomega provided the schools with CD writers, they could give the students coupons to buy Iomega discs for their personal use. If Mattel provided preschool students with Barbie Dolls, think of how much money parents could spend on coordinating clothing and accessories....

From there, in addition to funding and placements, companies could offer scholarships oreven sponsor individual students. Again, the levels and opportunities for participation are endless.

All in all, it isn't just advertising these companies get for their buck. They get exposure, loyalty, brand recognition for an entirely new generation... Through their provisions the school systems will likely need to order and reorder throughout their seasons. So, you can secure large county and state contracts. In that process, the companies can secure larger state contracts. Perhaps part of the deal would be that Mars can place vending machines in the unemployment and family services offices.

And you always can boil it down to the bigger picture. When everyone takes a stab at supporting the educational endeavor, we are educating a brighter, better, more innovative workforce. We are inspiring a generation to do bigger and better things with their lives. And, often, that means they will earn more money in their lifetimes. In doing so, they can afford more of the products and services of the companies that have helped fund their educational process. IE: (again) You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

The bottom line, is that there are privatized companies out there that have the resources to effectively gain from what properly executed educational partnerships can offer them. Competition can be healthy; and it can be inspiring. When everyone works together and has the same vested interests, you CAN'T fail.

Wednesday, 13 October 2004 - 5:28 PM CDT

Name: waxwing
Home Page: http://mrcarlisle.mindsay.com/

The author of the above limerick was mrcarlisle whose blog address is above. I am happy to be able to credit him now. Thank you, mrcarlisle!
I do love a good limerick or haiku or parody... wait a minute, what am I saying? Oh well, good weekend, all.

Thursday, 14 October 2004 - 12:48 AM CDT

Name: Bard

That was the brilliant Grace, who I predict will end up as PM of Canada some day. You go, Grace! Bill O'Reilly is current wishing that he made the objects of his desire strip, all the better to detect those hidden microphones.

Thursday, 14 October 2004 - 9:31 AM CDT

Name: Lora

This was like drinking a really good old wine that's been sitting around in the wine cellar and was now ready to be opened... sort of comfortable and familiar, they get better with time...

Thank you for retrieving this from the "cellar".

Tuesday, 19 October 2004 - 12:59 AM CDT

Name: nikola1tesla
Home Page: http://www.nikola1tesla.mindsay.com

Snubby!! I totally second that motion!! You are my God!

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