I received this from feenxc, one of the nicest bloggers around. She wanted to share this with us all and I think it's fitting. Thank you feenxc.
i've used this site before to express sadness, when i made a move at my company, and grief, when my aunt died. i have the need to express myself again.
i have a nice, normal family, with one major difference... we are cursed. i've heard people comment that they dislike the holidays, dread them, that they are exhausting, on and on. me? i fear them. i mean shake-in-your-boots fear. the holiday season is disaster season for us. the list includes: dad's heart attack and subsequent open heart surgery; mom's 1st stroke, the finding of a tumor inside her heart, then open heart surgery to remove it;
the next year, mom's 2nd stroke due to a hole left in her heart from the surgery; my daughter's appendix bursting, then return to the hospital because of a kidney infection; this one was on july 1(we include all holidays), my grandfather's death; on dec. 23rd, my grandmother's death; one year was just minor, dad had a nosebleed which wouldn't stop and meant him being in the hospital to have it cauterized; dad's death on memorial day; the list goes on. they range from minor to major, but always include hospital visits. oh yeah, one time was me. my heart attack, then second trip in to have the stent seated properly. it's kinda freaky to feel your heart flutter, have doctors tell you it's nothing, only to get sent directly to the hospital from cardiac rehab.
well, this year halloween rolled around and my stomach started rolling, my chest felt tight, and daily i jumped out of my skin whenever the phone rang. i thought when my aunt passed, that the disaster had already occured. but i had my doubts, it's always been a more immediate family member. finally, it happened.
this past weekend, my dear, darling daughter found herself without the kids and some time on her hands. she and her fiancee and 3 friends decided to go see a show then go out afterwards. now keep in mind, it was rainy and damp. eventually they mosied on home, where around 3 a.m. she and a friend decided to go to the store. being responsible adults, they walked. i'm so proud of her not driving. on the way back, they passed a small playground in the complex. remember, this is a grown woman with 2 kids. she decides to go down the slide. i did tell you it was rainy, didn't i? the slide was wet. she was in heels. she starts down the slide, loses control, slides at top speed. the feet land first, the heels sink into the mud anchoring her feet, the rest of her keeps going. sa-nap goes her tibula.
i have been in the hospital the rest of the weekend and will be in everyday for the rest of the week, maybe longer. they operated today, installed a plate. tomorrow she starts therapy, but can't come home til she can put weight on it. hopefully they will let us sign her out for a few hours on thursday.
what do i have to be thankful for? it's here, it's over with, i can breath again. don't get me wrong, i love my daughter, i am so upset about all this. every tear she sheds, moan she makes, goes thru me like a knife. i so want to take her pain away, but i am helpless. but... it's over for this season. she will mend, she will never go near a slide again, noone died.
don't be upset for me, that wasn't my intention here. as the years go by, i just find it unbelievable that all this crap can be dumped on my family. i couldn't tell you when it started, or who might have cursed us, or why. i just know that we go from cuts to broken bones to the passing of a family member whenever a holiday rolls around. it always involves a hospital stay anywhere from overnite to forever.
so be thankful with me. it's over, it could have been worse... now onto easter.
kisshugs
Posted by captainhoof
at 8:52 PM CST
