Tuesday, 17 August 2004 - 12:31 PM CDT
Name:
sickofthischeese
Who cares who you are, honestly. Like me, you are no ordinary person, but when it comes down to it you are only recognized because people get so bored with their lives they have to go waste their money on something, so lucky you. It is all mathematics anyway, probability, someone has to fill the role, so your number got picked, but dont think you are anything but lucky. My purpose is far greater, that of fighting crime. I was offered your life but I sensed a greater purpose, a calling, and one day I awoke to a mysterious black tight suit in my bedroom hanging from my closet door. I knew immediately what that was, no words needed, my destiny hung before me. So act away, but before you get carried away with all the pointless attention, think of me, someone unheard, unseen, but vital to your safety, and every now and then point to the sky and say thanks, that is all I ask. Enough about you already.
Its funny how hunger will motivate a man. I hear men saying all the time how they love and need a woman, but what about pizza? No woman in the world could make up for a ny style double cheese and pepperoni pie. Besides, once you beat off...you forget all about the woman, when you eat a slice of pie, well it isnt so easily forgotten. So I donned my black tight outfit, sick of the hunger, sick of the crap this world will feed you. I took to the streets. Besides, my daughter needs to eat too. My first night was surreal, the black tight suit made me invisible, and the possibilities were tearing at my moral code. I was standing right there on the street, completely invisible to the passer-bys, life finally had a purpose. To test out just how unnoticed I am, I screamed as loud as I could just as this elderly man approached. He dove for cover like a vietnam vet on the 4th of july, man, the hair stood up on my neck as I watched him panic. He peeked around and saw no one, nothing, but there I was. He quickly brushed himself off and scuttled down the street hoping noone would noticed were he pissed himself. Man that was fun.
I know what your saying, nice superhero, well maybe, but after my crap of a life, I had a little venting to do before I turned to the problems of others. I wasnt ready for the responsibility. For the moment weed and women were atop my list, live with it. My thoughts shifted quickly, as approaching from one block down was walking a mini skirt topped off with some absolutely gorgeous organicly grown melons.
Oh want to know more, disgusted and intrigued? Well trust me, that night is one you want to know about.
yours truly
