Re: Rocky. Boy, sending him to the mound was a miscalculation. The thinking: his experiences would provide, at the very least, pure, unadulterated escapism. Rock star, hot groupie, extraordinary circumstances... But you hated it. (Sadly, I think that had many of Rocky's critics known the truth about him, he'd have instead received ten times as many invitations to naked bowling parties, links to pornographic pix, etc., as I have. (Incidentally, he would like that.))
As for [Withheld]--let's call her W if only because it's easier to type--very few moments of her life are devoid of glamor. So it seemed she might be of interest to you along similar lines. In hindsight, Ben Hecht's take on The Famous should have been taken into account: "We find pleasure not in how they surpass us but how they resemble us." Maybe that's why the entry on this blog that prompted the most energetic responses was about buying toilet paper. And now that I think about it, which is more interesting? The fab details of W's trailer on her current movie set or the details of the one in which she'll be living fifteen years hence--once her star has dimmed and the money's gone--with the out-of-work grip she married, the three kids, and the additional seventy-five pounds.
I could write about when I bought Q-Tips. Also, there was that time back in my zany, younger days when I purchased gum. I'm off grocery stories and such these days however, but thanks for asking. Onto escapist stuff. If I manage to get a book out, by the way, perhaps you'll know I wrote it because I'll neither confirm nor deny writing it. Or maybe you'll recognize the writing. Or maybe chapter 23 will give away the game, the one where the hero buys toilet paper and drives away in his Viper.
In the meantime, as one or two of you have asked, what about this site?
One possibility: We stick with the Find-a-new-Rance strategy. Right, that hasn't worked so good so far. Last week, though, a large media corporation contacted the Administrative Staff and offered to run a New Rance contest. Say we agree? And say they find someone? My thinking is the blog would find itself in the same quandary it was early this summer: too many comments for the Administrative Staff to adequately moderate--at least until the government legislates a thirty-hour day. Yeah, I know, I know: the too-many-comments thing was the result of errors I made. But you've spilled milk before too, right? So let's move on to a solution.
People often suggest: Why not just have no comments at all? I like that solution least of all, because I like the community that's blossomed here. I had no idea that'd be the case at the onset, but now it is.
The comments have to be moderated though. Otherwise you'd regularly have to page through epic-length posts from lunatics. (By the way, this is not meant to denigrate lunatics in general. Dear lunatics: Some of your posts have been terrific. It's just that, on a purely statistical basis, lunatics tend to ramble more than your garden-variety sane posters.)
So what will there be to comment about? I think a lot of our regulars are more entertaining than any of the New Rance candidates. That's not saying an awful lot, is it? Let me put it another way: If Agent Pepito, BabyGirlCrow, Bard S, Curiousgirl, Gigglechick, Ginny, Jay, Lora, Wheeler Jones, Ken, Gus Openshaw, Robyn, Rubber Ducky, Shorty, or Waxwing (to name just a few) were to publish anything, I'd wait on line at the bookstore to buy it. (Yeah, we know: "DuckIE"). So I hope they keep it up--who knows, maybe some good might come of it--and others join them. Also, no promises here, but in the event some new misery befalls me, maybe I'll have something with which to entertain you. Good chance of that come November, I fear.
For now, Wheeler Jones has sent in a terrific story. It's on deck. Rubber Duckie, if you're a bird of your word, the Administrative Staff will be expecting something darkly comical from you. After that, we'll see. And if it doesn't work, maybe we'll go bowling.
Later,
R
Posted by captainhoof
at 11:41 AM CDT
Updated: Thursday, 19 August 2004 4:06 PM CDT
