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Rance wuz here...
Tuesday, 3 May 2005
Pirates of Pensacola, Chapters 7, 8, 9 & 10
1. I wonder if Keith actually went to a barbershop, had them pump the chair up to its highest, and measured. Anyone here willing to do so for the sake of experiment?

2. Who, or what, is "the Very Psychotic"?

3. What would you do with 42.7 million dollars? I want an itemization...

4. Got a favorite one-linter from chapters 7-10? If so, share.

5. Does your significant other, friend, or relative have a habit that drives you batty to the point where if you were stuck next to them on an overcrowded ship for months at a time you might consider arranging their convenient disappearance?

6. What's the most interesting tid bit you learned from Isaac's pirate history lesson?

7. If you have any questions or observations about Chapters 7-10, please post them.

8. Scrimshaws are now being accepted for chapters 7-10. Here's my pitiful attempt:
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Posted by captainhoof at 10:15 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 3 May 2005 10:16 AM CDT
Post Comment | View Comments (16) | Permalink

Tuesday, 3 May 2005 - 3:26 PM CDT

Name: phaedria

I haven't read the book but I have been enjoying the Scrimshaws.. I think there are a bunch of artists that visit this site!

anywhoo.. i felt like answering some questions.. so here goes:
3. What would you do with 42.7 million dollars? I want an itemization...
$50,000 to pay off credit card/misc. debt & a new wardrobe
$200,000 to pay off the mortgage cuz i like where i live.
$150,000 to buy a nice new sports car, convertable, or 2
$500,000 ea to my parents
$500,000 for my nieces/nephew's college fund
$25 million to open my own R&D/pharmecutical company cuz i think there already is a cure for cancer but they are just pimpin the system....
$15 million as a cushion - cuz you never ever know

and the rest...
Vacation around the world? a Piccaso or original VanGogh? never depreciates. Chocolate?

5. Does your significant other, friend, or relative have a habit that drives you batty to the point where if you were stuck next to them on an overcrowded ship for months at a time you might consider arranging their convenient disappearance?

friend Patty - she clucks like a chicken. .. the more anxious she gets, the more she talks, the louder the cluck... i think she has a mild case of tourrettes so I can't really laugh but man.. it surely can be annoying.

Keep up the good work everybody!

Tuesday, 3 May 2005 - 3:41 PM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie
Home Page:

Well done Phaedria. I like that you would purchase a Piccaso or VanGogh or any priceless piece of art. Once, when I was in New Orleans, I went to a gallery and saw a Picaso numbered print I just had to have. It was only $3,000.00, but it was very small, and not something I could justify buying. It was a colored crayon drawing of a bullfight scene. There was an interesting story behind it, but I'm not so sure the owner wasn't filling me full of bull. One of the things I enjoy about Picasso's work is even though he could paint the finest of portraits, he moved towards a simple style. Some of his drawings seem to be drawn from one never ending single line. I watched a special on A&E where he spoke of this style and he gave a visual example by drawing a bull in the air from a glowing iron with one continual moving line. Fantastic. Click on the link above to see one of my favorites.

Tuesday, 3 May 2005 - 6:51 PM CDT

Name: Gnomie

1. I would say that Keith would have sent one of his minions to the barber shop for him... after all, anyone who has his own book and websites and knows so much about pirates must have his own posse too! I'd volunteer, but I don't know that the barber chairs on our isolated island are the same as the ones you have.

2. I would have to say that Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs and Anthony Perkins in Psycho (who, incidentally, resembles my dad) would be perfect examples.

3. If I had 42.7 million dollars, I would spend it as such:

$30 million into an investment trust to have income from the interest for all the family.
$1 million to each set of parents. (Mine & Hubby's)
$500,000 each to my hubby's siblings (all four of them.)
$500,000 each to my two closest friends (like sisters).
$1million each in trust for my children. (so far three).
$1 million each to Red Cross, Salvation Army, Cancer research, Ronald McDonald House, & SIDS research
$100,000 weekend away on a shopping spree with four friends to hit the clothes and jewellery shops and enjoy a weekend of luxury
$60,000 new family car
$60,000 convertible for me :)
$25,000 motorbike for hubby
$95,000 in my bank account to spend on spoiling the kids.

5. I have a feeling my chatter would cause my significant other, family and friends to arrange to throw me overboard! But I can't confirm or deny this!

I can't answer the other questions as I haven't read the book! But your scrimshaw is obviously the barber chair at its full height???

Gnomie :)

Tuesday, 3 May 2005 - 6:54 PM CDT

Name: Gnomie

I miscalculated... the $95,000 was meant to be $31,000 - sorry, maths isn't my forte - but spending money is!

Tuesday, 3 May 2005 - 9:08 PM CDT

Name: rancette
Home Page:

1. measured what, now?

3. What would you do with 42.7 million dollars? I want an itemization...

i heard some actor was selling his hollywood condo or something for

?21 million (21.7 left)
?2 million for retirement like for electricity and food (19.7 left)
?and last but not least 19.7 to fund the making of my next script. yay

5. my mother or ex-roommate. i think i'm the one that's hard to get along w/but too bad!

i am going to post a new scrimshaw soon, don't worry

Wednesday, 4 May 2005 - 2:17 AM CDT

Name: Bastardess

Believe it or not I measured an actual barber chair today. This chair was a bit rusty but if you pumped hard enough it almost went up 12 inches. That seems about right, no, or it might topple over.

Emildeau is the Very Pschotic. The Very Pschotic is the state that one might ascribe to feelings associated with finding oneself in a chaotic barber shop with two armed barber pirates willing to cut your throat.

I would invest 22.7 million and live off 1/3 of the return.
I would put 10 million in a swiss bank.
I would invest 10 million to create an arts club.

"...starfish blond Polly Teach was crowned Miss Canoe,..."

Most people make me loopy after a while. I'd need my own poop deck to survive.

I didn't know about "privateers" and the "letter of marque and reprisal". Hmmmmm, juicy!

Is Morgan Isaac? Are pirates religious or is pirating their religion?

Wednesday, 4 May 2005 - 3:06 AM CDT

Name: Bastardess

I forgot to Ys

Wednesday, 4 May 2005 - 3:07 AM CDT

Name: Bastardess

And I meant two not to!

Wednesday, 4 May 2005 - 10:42 AM CDT

Name: Keith
Home Page:

I did not research the barber chair in person. I googled "small Caribbean island antique barber chair full elevation torture"

Wednesday, 4 May 2005 - 1:32 PM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

I guess we can bank on it then...4 feet it is...(<'

Wednesday, 4 May 2005 - 1:32 PM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie


Wednesday, 4 May 2005 - 5:21 PM CDT

Name: Gnomie

I believe in the power of thinking positively and also in Karma. So I had already worked out in advance what I would do with a lottery win... and sharing it around seems the best way to get the karmic forces to help it happen!


Friday, 6 May 2005 - 12:34 AM CDT

Name: labsnabys

RDD, I'm sorry that time has not permitted me to participate in this week's round of questions and scrimshaws...I promise to catch up next week.

Friday, 6 May 2005 - 10:43 AM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

I'll admit, I was disappointed. I so look forward to your scrimshaws, but the promise for next week makes up for it all. Thanks so much! I know you have been busy.

Tuesday, 10 May 2005 - 2:33 PM CDT

Name: Trillian
Home Page:

Ok, back in town, lets see if I can get caught up.

1. According to my research, it would seem that the average, run-of-the-mill barbershop chair has a height variance of between 8-12 inches. However, those that have been retrofitted as torture devices (available at ebay and other fine online establishments), as well as those designed especially for use by barbers who cut the hair of children, vary from 2-5 feet in height.

2. Part of the seldom used formal title of my fourth grade teacher, Ms Bandy.

3. 42.7 mil before or after taxes?

4. My favorite one-linter comes from my electric dryer, after I've put too many different color clothes in the wash together. Lovely furry rainbow...

5. My best friend is a morning person. The instant the alarm goes off, she springs up out of bed, cheerfully talking about the day ahead.
I believe mornings to be an evil communist plot and alarm clocks to be the product of the devil.
How we have traveled thru seven countries without killing each other yet is beyond my powers of comprehension.

6. The difference between a pirate and a privateer.
No, wait. Was that in the book? Or Gus' site? Or Nelson's? Or Keith's? Or maybe on PBS...

7. Ok, so I put my copy of the book in some perfectly logical place before I went out of town. Now if I could only recall that logic. I mean, it's such a subtle colored cover, it just blends right in...

8. I think I should have left my scrimshaw saying "Best Conch on Booty Island"
Less accurate, perhaps, but for some reason more amusing.

Wednesday, 11 May 2005 - 6:41 PM CDT

Name: Trillian
Home Page:

Ok, assuming that this is 42.7 mil in tax free pirate gold, here goes.
Pay off all debts-credit cards,hospitals, personal loans,etc.
1 mil to each of my parents and my two surviving grandparents
Couple hundred thou to close friends and family members who've always been there for me
Various deserving charities, espeically Lyme Disease research.
Offer to sponsor an episode of “Extreme Makeover:Home Edition” if they'll let me help.
I could figure out the construction costs to the penny, but I have no idea what the actors make.
So we'll guess that a couple mil might be enough.
Buy a small private island. Should be able to find one for around 5 mil.
Buy a castle somewhere in Scotland, preferably one that comes with an ancestral title.
Guessing a fixer-upper could be had for around five mil.
Go totally nuts on ebay
Go slightly nuts at Godiva
That leaves me about 14 mil and change to travel the world with a posse of my friends and family. Figuring that six of us can live pretty darn well in most parts of the world off $100 per day each, that's about $220000 per year. So we've got about 63 years before we have to worry about getting a job again. Figuring that I'll want to spend at least a year each in India, Mexico, Costa Rica, and several other places where we can live like kings on seriously less than $100 per diem, I think we're set, even without Social Security.

And to think, four times that amount is routinely spent on making movies...

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