Chat@Vat. Part II: By Janis...
In 1995 in commemoration of 100 years of Cinema the Vatican issued a
list of its "great films" to celebrate what it viewed was best about
the medium. For this the Vatican created a committee, which ultimately
came up with three categories in order to create its top 45 list. The
three categories were: "Religion", "Values", and "Art". The best film
list is listed below after the vat chat...
Note: The following chat is a work of fiction. None of it is true.
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RANCE: What'd you guys think of the boss's request to come up with a
top 45 film list?
WILDCARDINAL: Hmmmm
GIGGLEPRIEST: i like it. it was about time. if you know what i mean....
RANCE: It's gonna be tough though coming up with a suitable list.
SAINT_MISBEHAVING: Why?
RANCE: How are we gonna determine what goes in and what doesn't?
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MONK'S_UNCLE: Rance, why don't you admit that you're JP2?
RANCE: Me?
MONK'S_UNCLE: Yeah, you! LOL.
RANCE: LOL. What happened to "saint_misbehaving"?
GIGGLEPRIEST: lmao
MONK'S_UNCLE: don't know.
GIGGLEPRIEST: Rance, don't deny!!!!
GIGGLEPRIEST: LMFAO!!!!
VATMAN: ROFLOL!!!
RANCE: Sorry, can neither confirm nor deny...
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RANCE: There you are. What happened?
SISTER_JANIS: Sorry guys I got booted out...
RANCE: Is your yahoo misbehaving? You logged on as Janis?
SISTER_JANIS: LOL. oops didn't realize. Oh well...
RANCE: LOL. Okay, back to business... We need to come up with a
rating system first.
VATMAN: I know one!
RANCE: Bring it on!
VATMAN: Rated R for "religious"
GIGGLEPRIEST: How about rated G for GOD? lol
MONK'S_UNCLE: Rated MO for morally offensive. lol
SISTER_JANIS: How about rated XXX for you know what...
RANCE: lol
GIGGLEPRIEST: ROFLOL!!!
VATMAN: The #1 must see movie has to be "Passion of the Christ"!
SISTER_JANIS: I agree. Rance tell us about Janet.
RANCE: No guys, this ain't the forum to discuss Janet.
MONK'S_UNCLE: Oh c'mon Rance, don't be a p....
RANCE: Me?
MONK'S_UNCLE: Yeah, U!
GIGGLEPRIEST: ROFLOL
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RANCE: Okay, you guys ain't taking me serious today.
VATMAN: We always take you serious.
RANCE: Where did now "sister_janis" go?
GIGGLEPRIEST: she left again?
WILDCARDINAL: Hey Rance, how about rated H for going to hell?
RANCE: LOL.
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GIGGLEPRIEST: There she is.
WILDCARDINAL: Hey Lora what's going on with you today?
LORA: Damn that yahoo. I got booted out again. I hate yahoo!
RANCE: This time you're logged on as "Lora".
LORA: Oooops
LORA: LOL.
LORA: Sorry....
RANCE: How many screen names do you have?
LORA: I have one more....
GIGGLEPRIEST: which one?
LORA: redraspberry!
VATMAN: LMAO!!!!!
RANCE: lol
LORA: You can laugh all you want. I'll bet Rance has more than one,
too...
WILDCARDINAL: very funny guys!!!!
GIGGLEPRIEST: lol
MONK'S_UNCLE: ROFLOL
RANCE: Well I can neither confirm nor deny... but anyhow, back to
business we need to come up with a system that ain't CONDEMNING
movies but rather something that gives it a Big Thumbs Up! What'd you
guys say?
WILDCARDINAL: Hmmmm
GIGGLEPRIEST: Sort of a "pick o' the pope"?
RANCE: LOL, yes!
LORA: Sounds good to me...
RANCE: Okay well each of you come up with a list and provide good
reason as to why you chose this film as oppose to another and than
we'll merge the list together. HOw does that sound?
VATMAN: Excellent idea, RAnce!
GIGGLEPRIEST: Yes, very good. Ave, Rance!
LORA: More work! More homework I guess! But that's fine by me....
RANCE: Okay, laterus!
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The Vatican's top 45:
Here's the list, followed by the name of each film's director, nation
of origin and year of release.
"Religion"
La Passion Ferdinand Zecca (France, 1903)
The Passion of Joan of Arc Carl Dreyer (France, 1928)
Monsieur Vincent Maurice Cloche (France, 1947)
Flowers of St. Francis Roberto Rossellini (Italy, 1950) Ordet/The
World Carl Dreyer (Denmark, 1955)
Ben-Hur William Wyler (United States, 1959)
Nazarin Luis Bunuel (Mexico, 1959)
The Gospel According to St. Matthew Pier Paolo Pasolini (Italy, 1964)
A Man for All Seasons Fred Zinnemann (Britain, 1966)
Andrei Rublev Andrei Tarkovsky (USSR, 1966)
The Sacrifice Andrei Tarkovsky (Sweden/France, 1986)
The Mission Roland Joffe (Britain, 1986)
Babette's Feast Gabriel Axel (Denmark, 1987)
Francesco Liliana Cavani (Italy, 1988)
"Values"
Intolerance D. W. Griffith (United States, 1916)
Open City Roberto Rossellini (Italy, 1945)
It's a Wonderful Life Frank Capra (United States, 1947)
The Bicycle Thief Vittorio Di Sica (Italy, 1948)
On the Waterfront Elia Kazan (United States, 1954)
The Burmese Harp Kon Ichikawa (Japan, 1956)
Wild Strawberries Ingmar Bergman (Sweden, 1957)
The Seventh Seal Ingmar Bergman (Sweden, 1957)
Dersu Uzala Akira Kurosawa (USSR/Japan, 1975)
The Tree of Wooden Clogs Ermanno Olmi (Italy, 1978)
Chariots of Fire Hugh Hudson (Britain, 1981)
Gandhi Richard Attenborough (Britain, 1982)
Au Revoir les Enfants Louis Malle (France, 1987)
Dekalog Krzystof Kieslowski (Poland, 1988) (this is a series of 10
one-specials).
Schindler's List Steven Spielberg (United States, 1993)
"Art"
Nosferatu F. W. Murnau (Germany, 1922)
Metropolis Fritz Lang (Germany, 1927)
Napoleon Abel Gance (France, 1927)
Little Women George Cukor (United States, 1933)
Modern Times Charles Chaplin (United States, 1936)
Grand Illusion Jean Renoir (France, 1937)
Stagecoach John Ford (United States, 1939)
The Wizard of Oz Victor Fleming (United States, 1939)
Fantasia Walt Disney (United States, 1940)
Citizen Kane Orson Welles (United States, 1941)
The Lavendar Hill Mob Charles Chrichton (Britain, 1951)
La Strada Federico Fellini (Italy, 1954)
8 1/2 Federico Fellini (Italy, 1963)
The Leopard Luchino Visconti (Italy, 1963)
2001: A Space Odyssey Stanley Kubrick (Britain, 1968)
Posted by captainhoof
at 12:12 PM CST