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Rance wuz here...
Friday, 1 April 2005
Ahem, testing, testing
Unfortunately, Rubber Duckie has been involved in a bit of a car accident this afternoon. No major injuries, however, she did suffer a bump on the noggin that appears to be creating what the doctors assure us is only a temporary case of amnesia.

I have taken it upon myself to stand in for Rubber Duckie for one reason, and one reason only. To finish the flocking story. You will have closure. RDD, bless her heart, although witty and somewhat intelligent, has her shortcomings. Finishing this story, among other things, is one of them.

I will succeed where all others have failed. I will tell the story.

Peace to the good. Torment to the Evil.


Posted by captainhoof at 3:29 PM CST
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Wednesday, 30 March 2005
I've been living the lifestyle of a do nothing for approximately two days now. I must say, I think I'm getting the hang of it. I woke up this a.m. around 9:00, promptly rolled over and went back to sleep.

At around 10:00 I woke up and decided to take a steam bath, enjoying it for every bit of 30 minutes. I toweled off and felt the need to lay down again from the exertion. I grabbed the remote, slowly flipping, looking for the channel that would require the minimalest of mental participation on my part. I settled on FOX news.

I noticed where a new season of The Surreal Life begins soon. Sort of a pseudo problem there. It airs on VH1, my cable doesn't carry VH1. What's a do nothing to do about that? Any suggestions? Please keep in mind that there are rules.


The Dude

Posted by captainhoof at 10:20 AM CST
Updated: Wednesday, 30 March 2005 10:47 AM CST
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Tuesday, 29 March 2005
Bowling Balls
So, the Dude went bowling last night, figuratively speaking, and there were a few observations I made. This truly is the sport for do nothings. It doesn't necessarily require practice nor cognizance to play. I mean really, what other sport do you know where one imbibes intoxicants for refreshments during play?

The one challenge seemed to be keeping up with the score, but I figure that's why the handy dandy computer tallied score screen was invented. Who can be bothered with keeping score when there's beer to drink and balls to roll? After all, it's the balls what makes the man.

Your phone's ringing...


The Dude

Posted by captainhoof at 9:15 AM CST
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Monday, 28 March 2005
I want to be The Dude...
Stumbling from White Russian to White Russian without nary a care in the world. The sloshing of my glass being the slightest nuisance if only because the precious fluid might be spilled, thereby going unconsumed, lost forever to the mysterious process of evaporation, rising as an intoxicating mist to be inhaled by the atmospheric powers that be.

I would live in a fog of self-gratification, blind to responsibility and social acceptance. To be, if only to be. Nothing more, nothing less.

Don't pee on my rug and I won't pee on yours. That's the stuff that peace is made of.


The Dude

Posted by captainhoof at 2:55 PM CST
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Friday, 25 March 2005
The complaints are deserved. Had this been a real job I would have been fired three days ago, left with nothing but the shirt on my back and the dream of someday becoming a roadie with Bingo. Actually, the thought of inebriated fur is appealing right now.

I made a deal with my other personality to finish my story, which I will do.

I hope you all have your Pirates of Pensacola books handy as well as our book club will begin soon. For those of you who don't, GET IT!

Posted by captainhoof at 9:19 AM CST
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Tuesday, 15 March 2005
Because you're such a helping group of people and participation is completely optional, please check out the following:


Posted by captainhoof at 4:08 PM CST
Updated: Tuesday, 15 March 2005 4:11 PM CST
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Monday, 14 March 2005
Alright...I was never a boyscout, obviously,
And I apologize for using their name in vain. I had some technical difficulties over the weekend that have been resolved. Mainly, I had to give my hubby a personality adjustment. We'll see how long it lasts.

If you're a Boy Scout and you live in the neighborhood come on buy and I'll buy some popcorn for my penance.

Posted by captainhoof at 7:48 PM CST
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Friday, 11 March 2005
I'm back...
I received a message from Marty today threatening to defriend me if I didn't finish the friggin story. Since my friends are few and far between, and she's like the only one who's as crazy as I am, I will take no chances.

A new piece of the story will go up today.

Thank you for your patience. You're a great group of bloggers.

I love ya,


Posted by captainhoof at 10:28 AM CST
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Wednesday, 2 March 2005
My apologies...
Since Saturday I have become engrossed in an issue that requires my full attention at present. I feel horrible about leaving you hanging, and I promise to return really soon. Have no worries, everything is fine. I'm simply off on another one of my "adventures". Perhaps I'll have another story to tell...

Posted by captainhoof at 8:19 AM CST
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Thursday, 24 February 2005
Check this out and pass it on...Especially all ya'll living in CA

Up later today, a new entry in the Smell of Fear, or a queer essay topic. Haven't decided yet.

Posted by captainhoof at 9:54 AM CST
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