"It's cheap on the island," said the ferry captain. "Same price for a bungalow as a bungled blow." It's a bad joke, I know. But I can't get it out of my head. So per the time-honored deal between misery and company, I thought I'd share it with you.
On the island, very nice seaside bamboo bungalows with roofs of thatched palm fronds were available for the equivalent of as little as $5 U.S./night. As luck would have it, the one we'd booked ahead of time cost more than 40 times that. However, as my jovial traveling companion (Abel, a harpooner from the grounded whale ship) pointed out, ours had three subtle but appreciable differences: little bottles of shampoo and stuff like that, toilets with seats, and internet access--hence a blog entry.
The first night, we went to a restaurant on the beach. Sizzling on spits above a vast coal pit were shrimp the size of bananas. This is not an exaggeration or misprint. In this neck of the planet, they have shrimp that can kick our shrimps' asses. And shrimp, as previously mentioned I think, is my favorite food not sold at Fatburger. Better still, the price of the shrimp entr?e: 80 cents! The thing is though, it was the most expensive item on the menu, and my programming doesn't allow me to order the most expensive item on a menu. Even at a hotdog stand. So I got the squid entr?e. 70 cents. Also huge, but not so good. Sort of like eating a swim fin. In retrospect, this was idiotic, and will add it to my reprogramming buck list. Fortunately, the bottles of whiskey (good, and, given an extra kick by the venom of snakes in the local waters it's made from) were only a buck apiece--the same price as cups of ice, incidentally.
As a result of the whiskey, perhaps, I will now segue clumsily into Current Events. I have it on first-rate spook authority that Tenet, a good man, did indeed resign for personal reasons--Bush's personal reasons. Now, I'm aware that a politically-oriented remark will draw a hundred comments along the lines of "Where the hell do you get off making politically-oriented remarks, you stupid ivory tower Hollywood liberal pansy-assed pansy?" They'll just be deleted though. Unless you make a compelling case of why you're any better qualified to offer analysis.
One last thing: I'm getting sort of tired of the What I'd Do If I Ran Fox essays. The however-many of you who wrote in and said it wasn't the best essay contest topic are probably right. There are still a couple of good essays in the hopper, and they'll be posted. But let's try again. First, a question that if nothing else should yield a greater variety of responses. I read recently that one of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt's sons wrote a series of murder mystery novels in which Eleanor was the protagonist and solved crimes. Pitch me a summer blockbuster movie in which Eleanor is the main character. Alternate topic: A drama in which Angelia Jolie plays the President.
Contest Rules: As usual winners get 10 DVPs. You may submit only one essay (Exception: you may submit two if you are a Siamese twin). Essays must have a movie title and be no longer than 250 words, including the title. Deadline: June 8, 2004, midnight, wherever in the world it is that midnight plays latest.
Administrative Note: The Administrative Dept., having been allocated funds for an industrial strength coffee machine, will be continuing to review comments posted in the past week or so.