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Rance wuz here...
Wednesday, 24 March 2004
Reply to Shorty
Shorty writes: Yah what a great idea by Rance. But I have a DAMN feeling he wont reply to our MOTHERFUCKING questions. Cuz I think this question isn't FUCKING challenging enough. Or Rance can't or doesn't like to cook....SHIT, maybe I have to throw in a few bad ASS words like SHIT, FUCK and PUSSY to draw some attention here????? Ok here we go.....Rance, is there any kind of SHIT u like to cook? I mean not boiling a MOTHERFUCKING egg or something but a real MOTHERFUCKING meal. Now don't be a PUSSY and answer the FUCKING question!! :p

Reply: First off, Shorty, put just about any of your posts to music, you've got an Eminem song.

Second, I'm flattered by the many inquiries about what I eat, particularly since, for all you know, I'm a hairy fat psycho blogging from a halfway house who drinks his own urine. As far as I'm concerned, the question gets to the heart of a hairy fat problem I've been having this blog. If I can't answer questions that simple, and I can't, then I've fairly well painted myself into a small corner as to what I can talk about, haven't I? For instance, if I say, "last night I went to Spago," I've damn near outed my identity. Of if I say, "I stayed in last night," then someone keeping score can rule out the fifty or so potential Rances who were seen eating out. For that matter, I can't even say whether I ate in LA or in New York or on location or on Mars.

I think when I first started this, I thought I'd write nifty entries like, "I went to a party last night at such-and-such a producer's, saw famed actress so-and-so have one too many Cosmopolitans and barf, and an enterprising young CAA agent collect the vomit in his wife's purse and list it on eBay." But by virtue of reporting it, the Rance suspect pool would dwindle to like three swimmers.

Now, I fully expect comments like: "The hell were you thinking, doing a blog , dipshit?" And to those I'll respond, "When's the last time you decided to do a revelatory pseudonymous blog and planned it all out perfectly?" So, Shorty, if I tell you I'm not into cooking, that eliminates all the potential Rances who've stated on the record that they are into it. I probably should've never said I like Fatburger. That's where it will all end for me, isn't it, maybe a few months, maybe a year from now? I'll be caught by some tabloid show's klieg lights while buying a bag of Curly Fries with Extra Grease. So do I have to cut down on Fatburger now? If so, the silver lining is that I'll probably live several extra years.

I would like to say a few words on the subject of Spago. It is, for the three of you who don't know, Wolfgang Puck's famous restaurant/star-sighting mecca on Sunset. I wouldn't be caught dead there. Or I love it. Or I go there every now and then. Can't tell you. But Tom Cruise goes there--or at least he did once, a year or so ago, for lunch, with Penelope Cruz. You remember. You saw the hundreds photos of them necking at their table throughout their meal. This was how they became a public item. Did you wonder how it was that the very private Tom and Penny were caught alive in that place? And why would they would elect to suck face for the cameras after seeing the first flash or hearing the first shutter snap? And how did so many camera operators know to be in Spago at that precise moment? You think a press agent, or a team thereof, might've had a hand in it? Those of us in L take every published photograph and industry news item with a grain-no, make that a dumptruckful--of salt. If I can get you to do that, then maybe this blog will have been of some use. Also, it's good sport. Give it a try sometime.



PS: Posters have been complaining of having trouble posting comments. Likely a function of increased traffic. Complain to lycos or tripod or whatever and you'll receive Dodge Viper Points.

Posted by captainhoof at 11:04 AM CST
Updated: Wednesday, 24 March 2004 11:07 AM CST
Post Comment | View Comments (43) | Permalink

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 11:11 AM CST

Name: gigglechick
Home Page:

mmmmm... extra greeeze.

as far as being a hairy fat psycho blogging from a halfway house... really, aren't we all just a smidge like that?

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 12:14 PM CST

Name: Lezlee

Damn this site is addictive. I gotta get something else accomplished besides checking in with what's going on in Rance's head. Then he writes a "rant" basically complaining that he can't really tell us what's in his head. Brilliantly though, you have managed to share without giving yourself away. Although I've withdrawn myself from the DVP points, I award one to you today for illiciting an audible laugh from me (the Eminem Song).


Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 12:25 PM CST

Name: Jay

I'm back at work today after a brief jaunt out of town, and I'm presently engaging my lunchtime ritual of late--catching up with Rance. Wow. The sycophantic backpatting is on the increase...and the descriptive mathematical function for the increase is exponential.

You don't need a pseudononymous blog, Rance. You need a group of real friends who will tell you that you're full of shit. My friends serve this purpose quite well (hi, M...I know you're here).

Since you are obviously lacking in this regard, I feel that it is my duty, as one of your fawning votaries, to fill the need in your life: You are full of shit.

Ciao, love.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 1:52 PM CST

Name: Shorty
Home Page:


Rance: put just about any of your posts to music, you?ve got an Eminem song.

First off, 2 outta my numerous comments contain obcenities, so that's NOT about any. And second, I happen to like Eminem, so I consider ur comment as a compliment. But a simple yes, no or maybe would have done fine with me.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 2:05 PM CST

Name: larmebleue

Really Rance, you never cease to surprise me. You could have said/lied :' I love pasta. Restaurant. Home. Whatever. Pasta. All the time. ' and be done with these questions.
Instead, you wrote a long ( okay not that long) post about the reasons why you can't answer, and that's why we love you. Yay! for Rance's blog !

Oh and, shorty's post ? Eminem's funnier.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 2:15 PM CST

Name: cheryl

Pardon me for pointing out the obvious, Rance, but can't you work around these details? Why not just qualify statements by saying that names, dates, and locations have been changed. Does it really matter whether you went to a particular party last night or last year? Is there a big difference between saying you went to Spago vs. Cheesecake Factory? Who cares about that stuff, that's not what's interesing. Your stories and your perspective are what's interesting, but we understand if you need to change as many details as necessary in order to feel comfortable. So, if you went to a party last night which you would like to write about, tell us it was last week or something. What's the big dealio, man? Just tell people that you change the details. We'll live. Don't sweat it, you're giving me hives;)

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 3:23 PM CST

Name: babygirlcrow

Rance, i know this has nothing to do with your post today... however this is something that needs to be addressed!

you know what i find interesting....that every time someone makes a reference to a comment or even makes a statement of their own....that they alway have to use me as an example....some examples are used in a very nice form (and i appreciate those)....but as for the ones that aren't..."kiss my ass"....I am only being me and if you don't like it...too fuckin not here kissing anyones ass... least of all yours...i don't sugar coat shit and i am not going to change for you or anyone else for that matter.... if you don't like my comments or are offended by what i sure sesame street has a "reader friendly" site that doesn't offend "most" people.... it's a damn shame that you need to use my name in order to get your ass noticed!

note: Nissa, your welcome sweetie and it's nice to see you commenting

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 3:32 PM CST

Name: Carol
Home Page:

Oh come on, the Fatburger thing isn't going to be your demise. First of all, I'm in California (Bay Area, to be exact) and I've never even heard of it. Secondly, in your profile it claims that you're into hamburgers (WTF, no cheese?). So I think it's a safe assumption that you're into fast food, at least to a certain extent.

But really, I think you can answer questions like that without giving yourself up. If you were to say, "I like Mexican food a lot, especially tamales" I don't think that rabid, obessive fans are going to form an alliance and station themselves at EVERY TAQUERIA IN THE COUNTRY, waiting for you to show up and get some tamales.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 3:56 PM CST

Name: ladyluck

Today we've learned: never underestimate the public's need to know every detail of a celebrity's life. While your blog and the ensuing comments are enjoyable to read, I'm kinda freaked out by those who want to know every detail. Some people are just one step away from becoming stalkers. Oh no, what am I doing? Do I fall into this category I've created?

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 4:09 PM CST

Name: Rance
Home Page:

Gee, sounds like the weather wasn't so good on your vacation, Jay. Thanks for the constructive ad hoc criticism. I will buy the Family Size Ex-Lax and hope for the best.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 4:10 PM CST

Name: Rance
Home Page:

They're just jealous, BBC.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 4:11 PM CST

Name: toodleoo

but he HAS told us what's inside his head. he just hasn't told us about anything that's outside the skull, including food preferences ;)

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 4:13 PM CST

Name: toodleoo

not always, sweetie :)
you're cute. i like you. keep writing.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 4:42 PM CST

Name: Jay

My pleasure, darling. The weather was spotty but adequate to my pursuits. I'm simply attempting to assist your perspective, which, I fear, would be skewed to your detriment if you listened only to the "huzzahs" and not the "whatevers".

I still love ya, baby.


Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 4:54 PM CST

Name: gidgetbananas

I can see it now: somewhere in the basement of the FBRI (Federal Bureau of Rance Investigation) a crack team of blog readers (aka procrastinators and/or the unemployed) is busily cross-referencing Rance's mentions of Spago against the last three months of Spago reservations, which were lifted, at risk of life and limb, by yet another dedicated reader. Elsewhere in the block-long FBRI building, still more special agents are checking video tapes from the surveillance cameras secreted in the parking lot of every Fatburger in L.A. Through their hard work they've narrowed down their list of computer-literate hamburger-loving actors with the approximate level of fame of Edward Norton to . . . about fifty.

I don't think even real G-men could discover your name, address and social security number from a random entry about steak and potatoes or scrambled eggs.

Rance, Rance, Rance -- you have rocketed past self-absorbed musing and are speeding into paranoid fantasy. Or else you're trying way to hard to jerk our collective chains.



Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 5:32 PM CST

Name: Robyn
Home Page:

Do you lie or tell the truth? Doesn't matter.
You are an interactive fiction book, loosely based on someone's life. I think you should like baklava, though. Can you do that for me?

Say... you know what could have helped you and Monica? Had she secretly committed a horrific crime that is punishable by death, life in prison, or life in drab ill-fitting clothing... and she told you about it and provided you with a record of it on video 8... everything could have worked out! She won't tell, you won't tell. See, Rance... you can hook up with anyone you want. Just get the goods on them before they get the goods on you.


Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 5:46 PM CST

Name: Bard S

In deciding to write this "revelatory" blog, Rance, whose enlightment were you seeking: ours (the readers)or your own? Maybe some of both?

The suggestion that industry photos and articles are--gasp!--often planned? Consider me underwhelmed at that particular revelation. We have all seen that you can offer far more intriguing and personal insights into your world.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 6:05 PM CST

Name: Liza76

Okay, Rance, maybe I haven't thought this through fully, but at first glance, it just seems that you're getting a little bit paranoid.
Granted, I'm not a celebrity, and I don't have first-hand knowledge as to what lengths people will go to to stalk or un-mask a celebrity.... but hell, you feel that you can't even say if you like to cook, what you eat, etc?! Seems a bit paranoid to me. I'm sure any number of celebrities enjoy Fatburger once in a while. This being, of course, contrary to popular belief that celebs subsist wholly on lettuce and soy milk.
Now I understand that you can't reveal what particular party you went to, who the exact parties are who were there and things like that. But come on, some things are just way too common to put you at risk of being "outed."
So Rance, what brand toilet paper do you buy? Marinara or meatsauce? Do you prefer flying or driving? Inquiring minds want to know.
At any rate, continue on, this blog is entertaining... but you must chill!

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 6:59 PM CST

Name: gigglechick
Home Page:

just because i am a sucker for the stalkers (they're stalkeriffic to me via my site) - gonna go out on a limb and let you know that i had a grilled cheese (white american, no i am not a racist, just dig that cheese... by kraft) on maier's wheat bread... and a canada dry ginger ale. that's my "hey-erin's-got-the-flu" meal. don't need to know what you ate or not... i just like telling others what i feasted upon, Rumplestiltskin.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 7:22 PM CST

Name: cheryl

Gidget, LOL! LOL! LOL! Sorry, Rance, but it's kinda funny. Try to get a grip, sweetie;) We'll start with baby steps: what are your feelings about milk? (Good/bad/indifferent) Good, now how do you feel about bread? Good, now there's a start.....

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 7:43 PM CST

Name: tricia

calm down people!
(is that an OutKast song?)

rance is right about not wanting to spill details and besides, it's his football.

words on the sport of taking kissing cruzes with truckloads of salt:
someone else said here, i do believe....."Well, Duh."
but do we really MEAN that? we all say we don't buy into that thing called gossip...rumors...

EXAMPLE: I'll use Courtney Cox for an example here, she's a
home-town girl and i think she'll forgive me for this...(Courtney, note: i shop at Smith's, also.)
NOTICE: this is a fake story...IT IS NOT TRUE!!!

Courtney comes out of her house to get her mail. She trips and almost falls but catches herself. A slimey sick bastard takes her photo. It's sold instantly over the POP-A-ROCKSY and appears on cover of the Globe the next day.
Will Courtney's drinking hurt her unborn child?
Levels of reaction to said photo:
1.Courtney is a drunk and will cause pain and misery to anyone near her forever and ever.
2. Oh...I don't believe that...still, pictures don't lie.
3. I'd drink too if I were married to David. What if the baby looks like him?

(...and this is my reaction and I truly hope the majority's as well...)
4. How the hell did they get so close to her house. That's horrible!
(Not believing...NEVER believing any of the story...period)

Then in Good Housekeeping they'll ask her about this rumor and how it affected her.....Then onward and upward to finally the mighty TIME magazine....their statement... Courtney is dealing with the untrue rumor, this year...blah, blah, blah...

but the horrible thing about it is...a few years from now...someone will say...didn't she have a drinking problem and somewhere in all our minds...we'll flash back..
"I really can't be sure...."
It's like anyone can simply say something to make it true. Poof it's a fact. How sick is that?

It all sucks.
Hopefully the majority GET that these are lies, lies and more lies....but i've been shocked before by people actually believing them...

But still we look. At the supermarket ...and hell, I'll bet rance even glances that'a way every now and then.
so what does this say about our species? We are ass-holes.
every last National Enquiring peeking one of us.

we'll try to do better, rance.
(but we can't do anything at this point about the Cox baby.
she's on her own if she gets David's nose.)

And yes, your thoughts and words in this tiny blog world you've created...are coming through...loud and clear.


Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 7:47 PM CST

Name: Lora

Dear Rance,

I can understand why you may feel uncomfortable revealing any details of what you like to eat. The cautionary tale from your previous entry eventhough fictitious provided ample evidence. However, I don't think there is any reason to worry. Instead you should give yourself credit for this wonderful blog you have created. It's so genuine and in my opinion it has opened many of us to a world we were unfamiliar with before. Thank you for trying to be you (which must be difficult since you cannot reveal any of your identity) and trying to share some of your world and/or experiences with us. You've been witty, at times mischievous, as well as, sexy and intriguing.

Best wishes,

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 11:02 PM CST

Name: Judy

Hey Rance....Am I the only one having problems accessing the comments????? I think I should get extra extra viper points for the hoops I'm jumping through to even get a post on here. First off...I can only read your post...can't get the damn comments at all. I'm getting quite used to seeing this familiar message..."Stack overflow at line: 0" What the hell does that mean???? Anyway....this has been happening since Monday night...and it only happens on your blog. I'll admit it, I'm computer challenged!!! I've tried all the tricks I know. I've enlisted the help of Tricia and Liz just to get to the point that I can even post. The only way I can get to the comments or to post is to have the link for the comments copied and sent to me for whatever post I want to comment on.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 11:03 PM CST

Name: Loren

"...a hairy fat psycho blogging from a halfway house..."

Well, the HELL with Rance! What about That Guy!!? Now, THAT'S sexy!! (lol)

What you eat...I hadn't given it much thought, because I assumed that Fatburger was still pretty much on The Throne.
Now, if you had just asked me, "Loren, would you please make me a BLT, Turkey Club, or Pastrami on toasted rye, I would've scooted off to the 'cyper-fridge', and happily obliged. My point is, all three of those sandwiches are generic enough favorites that they could be 'linked' to at least 200 famous people (dead, alive, or whatever.) Names, faces, and food can be altered to protect the author and the restaurant. I can see why you might be worried giving yourself away, though. Subtle changes might do more damage.

Wolfgang Puck's recipes are pretty good...Not for leftovers, though. I love the pasta and the pizza. If you haven't already, try to find a restaurant with the words Mongolian Barbeque in the name. This type of cooking is all over the place, with variations. Not for everybody, but definately one of my favorites. :-)

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 11:17 PM CST

Name: It's my first time here

You wrote: I would like to say a few words on the subject of Spago. It is, for the three of you who don?t know, Wolfgang Puck?s famous restaurant/star-sighting mecca on Sunset. I wouldn?t be caught dead there.

Good thing Rance, because the Spago on Sunset closed up a few years ago. I think it was 2001?

I understand about the swim party though. I think your audience all needs to stay at that hotel at least once to realize that you were doing something normal there and that no one could see you and no one would care if they did.

Nice blog

Thursday, 25 March 2004 - 12:53 AM CST

Name: Curious Girl

Hey Rance,

Sorry to pile on, but I pretty much agree with what many of the other posters have said. I posted questions about cooking, because I figured it would be a fun, innocuous, topic that would inspire your creative flights of fancy. I also figured it would be suitably vague. After all, we all have kitchens, and we all eat out occasionally.

I expected a response along the lines of "Well, sometimes I like to make macaroni, but not too often, because I like a recipe that mixes 4 different kinds of cheese along with a generous dollop of sour cream and it basically amounts to a coronary in a casserole dish".

I can't speak for anyone else, but I wasn't looking for an itemized list of specific restaurants, dates times etc. I certainly understand the need for caution, but I don't think revealing whether or not you have Campbell's soup vs. Lipton's in your pantry will result in your identity being revealed.

In short, you're safe for now. The crack celebrity kitchen/takeout surveillance squad isn't on to you just yet.

By the way, I do have an outstanding artery-clogging recipe for mac & cheese. If you're interested.

Thursday, 25 March 2004 - 5:03 AM CST

Name: stillburning
Home Page:

Call me completely naive (no, seriously, call me that, i like it) but say some obsessive fan with way too much time on their hands managed to find out who you are - what would happen? You would get more site traffic and comments? Someone you've written about might get offended? (despite the fact youve altered most details) I've read interviews more in depth than this blog.
I live in Australia, so I readily admit I'm about as far away from celebrity culture as you can get, but I dont see the big deal. Would it really be career-ending for the public to find out you are *shock horror* only human after all?

Thursday, 25 March 2004 - 8:50 AM CST

Name: Emily
Home Page:

Or maybe we would. ;)

Seriously though, yea I agree. Being a newcomer here, I find myself of course trying to guess his identity, shit I've even had a dream about it. Little tidbits of info like that are of no consequence to us Rance, your adoring fans. =P

Hey, I like Tamales too, maybe I'M Rance?!

Thursday, 25 March 2004 - 10:26 AM CST

Name: Selena
Home Page:

Hey again..I think that as far as going out is many of your loyal posters live in the area? So as far as I am concerned, unless you came out to OKC(which is seriously boring,and then I would know you have to be insane)..I would never know..and if say Spago's in so into star fluttering,what would be one more? they really report on that stuff??..and if so where??..the only place I have ever heard to go catch the star's munching is Pink's..and I have already decided not to make that a stop on my trip out that way..

Thursday, 25 March 2004 - 10:26 AM CST

Name: Zeynep Dilli

Disclaimer: I'm not trying to tell you what to write, since _it's_your_own_blog_ and I have absolutely no right to. These are all musings, and whether you take anything from them or not is purely your choice.

After three years of online journaling myself---I hesitate to use the word "weblog" for what I do, and I don't like how "blog" sounds---I've also done some thinking about what the possible purposes of writing like this might be.

The first (as in most obvious) purpose, writing a diary/journal, is out of the question for your case.

The second is something that is very well-put in this Livejournal entry:

The one-sentence summary is that you have those moments in life when everything is perfect, or those moments when something is more interesting than the background noise, and you write to document that moment, to share it with others, and not forget about it later yourself. Maybe you opened the shutters one morning and there was a thrush singing way louder than they usually do. Maybe you saw a dark-haired girl in a dark red car with an open top and thought that the combination worked very well. Anything that springs at you while you, you know, go on living.

Inasmuch as they make the readers pause and appreciate life as well, those entries are valuable, good to read, and wouldn't out you. There are thrushes and girls in red cars all over the place.

Thirdly there is writing what basically amounts to op-ed columns about... politics/music/dance/movies/whatever you want. This ties to the Rance-specific point of keeping a blog, which is reveal points about Hollywood life when and where you can without risking your identity. I think you've been doing a fine job about that without revealing whether you like pasta or not. As another commenter suggested, playing with the times and maybe names in such a setting would help. It also helps if your point is not to report specific events, but to comment about their general features---as you did with the skinny-dipping episode a while back and as you do talking about Cruise and Cruz in this entry.

In summary, I don't think we need to know you bought a leg of lamb, lemon juice, rosemary, and cloves of garlic at your local high-end grocery store last night to make yourself a nice leg of lamb rubbed with rosemary and lemon juice and roasted slowly with bits of garlic inserted under the skin. You _might_ say that you enjoy doing that once in a while :-).

(And here's hoping you aren't vegetarian, or I just turned your stomach. No, don't answer that.)

If comment problems continue, you might consider getting a LiveJournal account---if you get a free account you can keep completely anonymous, although they do need a valid e-mail account that you (or a representative) can handle. The nice thing about LJ is, it can easily handle the amount of comments per entry you're getting so far, and I've seen far more. Besides, it doesn't have any advertisements on the site.

Thursday, 25 March 2004 - 10:38 AM CST

Name: christopher hearns
Home Page:

I prefer that your just some guy making all of this up. My friend Victor has stated many times that as soon as it's written it's fiction. I like to view you as some guy just having fun. Probably in his early thirties. Reading tabloids and feeding us what we want to hear.

Making it fiction is what makes it brilliant. If it were all true, it would be just another celebrity blog. And who wants that?

Thursday, 25 March 2004 - 10:53 AM CST

Name: gigglechick
Home Page:

just because i am a sucker for the stalkers (they're stalkeriffic to me via my site) - gonna go out on a limb and let you know that i had a grilled cheese (white american, no i am not a racist, just dig that cheese... by kraft) on maier's wheat bread... and a canada dry ginger ale. that's my "hey-erin's-got-the-flu" meal. don't need to know what you ate or not... i just like telling others what i feasted upon, Rumplestiltskin.

Thursday, 25 March 2004 - 11:38 AM CST

Name: Shorty

Yeah like ur comments have any useful information, besides what gave u the idea to read my comments as funny? My comments are everything BUT funny.

Thursday, 25 March 2004 - 12:16 PM CST

Name: Rance
Home Page:

Ha, you're absolutely right. Tomorrow will be the third anniversary of Spago's closing in LA. And the Cruise/Cruise photo op was nearly 4 yrs ago. Times sure flies when you drink away half of it.

Friday, 26 March 2004 - 1:14 AM CST

Name: Britt

You are the sunshine of my life, yeeeeeeeeeeah, that's why i'll always be around.
Never change.

Friday, 26 March 2004 - 1:17 PM CST

Name: TBRB

You go girl!!!!!!! You are too damn funny...If more people were open and honest instead of pussyfooting around and trying to be politically correct the world would be a much simpler place. Just had to put my 2 cents worth in.


Friday, 26 March 2004 - 6:44 PM CST

Name: babygirlcrow

Don't worry honey am not going to change.....and am honored to be the sunshine in your life....good to see you back britt

Friday, 26 March 2004 - 6:50 PM CST

Name: babygirlcrow


Thanks girl, you know what you are if everyone else would just catch on!!!!!!!

Friday, 2 April 2004 - 2:25 PM CST

Name: betty

I have to admit I kind of like the Wolfgang Puck Express further down Sunset. I've never seen a celeb there, the service isn't too obsequious, and they have good food.

I have heard that the Ivy has taken the place of Spago for designated celeb/publicist planned photo ops.

Tuesday, 6 April 2004 - 7:06 PM CDT

Name: Lady Nee

Hello Rance:

I understand that you can't reveal too much about yourself for your own sake. Besides, the worst disappointment when going to church would be if God actually shows up.

But I would like to ask a question that I'd love to hear (read) you answer: What do you think about HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER?

One of its best lines: "Fuck the Bears."

Don't have anything against the Bears, but that line (the way Michael Rooker says it) is vintage. Then again, I love Michael Rooker. Nothing like a good ole boy from Jasper, Ala., giving 'em hell in south Chicago. I'd give a ball (if I had at least one) for him and Billy Bob to make a film together. Now that would be some Southern scrumptious right there.

In my view, HENRY is a great film. It doesn't get the credit that it deserves. Give me Henry over the other film monsters any day. As a character, Henry is powerful because he's the monster next door, the nightmare down the street you never bothered to speak to.

Do you wish you could land a role as juicy as Henry?

If I was an actor, I'd try to be the villain because villains, even more than blonds, have the most fun. They aren't bound by moral codes that can produce paralyzing boringness. A good villain can always liven up a part (along with what is left of the party).

Oh, well, just thought I'd ask.

Until we meet again, don't know where, don't know when- -

Lady Nee

Sunday, 11 April 2004 - 9:01 PM CDT

Name: zipit

Rance, your site is bizarrely addictive. I was a media studies major in college & we analyzed how politicians used the media to their advantage (and many times disadvantage). I'd like to hear more along the lines of how you use the media, or at least how you and your inevitable publicist control it. So many times a print or on camera interview is such a fabrication of reality - just out of frame is the overprotective publicist preventing anything from being said that is off message. And then there are the paparazzi - friend or foe? Please comment if you can.

Friday, 30 April 2004 - 3:11 PM CDT

Name: Pep
Home Page:

"I probably should?ve never said I like Fatburger. That?s where it will all end for me, isn?t it, maybe a few months, maybe a year from now? I?ll be caught by some tabloid show?s klieg lights while buying a bag of Curly Fries with Extra Grease."

Extra grease is nothing new at the Hollywood Fatburger, but since when do they sell Curly Fries?

Friday, 28 May 2004 - 5:11 AM CDT

Name: wobbler

Do ppl in the US actually drink Bud? No grolsch or anything?

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