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Tuesday, 24 August 2004

A Plea From Rubber Duckie
Dear A.S.,

If you have any love in your heart for me at all, even a tiny speck, please give this front page billing. You have loads of visitors to your site...Perhaps you could make a difference in the world, bring an icon back to life. Please, help the cause!


I went to visit nostalgic candy sites as I have a sugar tooth the size of Mount Rushmore. I love candy cigarettes, bubblegum cigars, lipstick candy and fun dip, but my favorite of all time was Willy Wonka's Wacky Wafers. I had no idea, but apparently, they've been discontinued! What am I to do? There is nothing similar on the market to satisfy my craving! I found the following information on a website...

Bring Wacky Wafers Back !!!!!

When Nestle Bought The Wonka Line Of Candy They Discontinued The Wacky Wafers.

Nestle Says There Is No Demand For Them.

Let's Show Nestle They Are Wrong !!!

If you Love Wacky Wafers Please Call Nestle And Let Them Know We Want Them Back

1-800-358-1971 M-F 8AM - 8PM ET

Please, FOR THE LOVE OF LOLITA, call. Call if you love Wacky Wafers, call if you love me, call for the sake of saying you did something proactive today, but please, if you're reading this, CALL!

Posted by captainhoof at 1:40 PM CDT

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Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 1:46 PM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I love it!!! I'm pullin' the line and honkin' my horn to you.

I owe you A.S.

I swear, if they bring 'em back I'm goin' to send you a goody basket of candy. Just let me know your favorite decade...

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 3:35 PM CDT

Name: Ariadne

I'm not sure if this could be of help. I would check out the Vermont Country Store website. They tend to carry stuff like...Teaberry gum, 100% cotton hosiery, shaving mugs (the kind that's ment to be used-not decorative) to name a few things. They encourage, ENCOURAGE their customers to email, write, or call them about any and all hard to find items, including candy. I whish you the best of luck in your venture.

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 3:42 PM CDT

Name: Brookside
Home Page:

This may sound monumentally naive and moronic (like I've been living in a cave my entire life), but what the hell are "Wacky Wafers"?

I tried to find some information on the net, but it really wasn't helpful.

I'm sure I'll get blasted from everyone, but I'm now intrigued and have to know. Someone fill me in on what I'm missing.


Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 3:49 PM CDT

Name: princessr9

Ok, I'll call, but please refresh my memory, what are Wacky Wafers? I hope they bring them back, we wouldn't want to send you over the edge for lack of sugar. I can get pretty damn cranky myself if I find I'm lacking peanut butter cups at critical time.

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 4:31 PM CDT

Name: feenxc

well what do you know? a bandwagon i can jump on! you can count on my support, rdd. altho i am the world's biggest chocoholic, i can emphasize with a sweet tooth. i'll be calling in the a.m. good luck!



Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 5:46 PM CDT

Name: JCanuck

Duckie, I would so love to help you, but those toll-free numbers don't work from outside of the US. I'll try to send one of those voodoo chickens their way instead.

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 6:36 PM CDT

Name: Lukedog
Home Page:

Rubber Duckie,

Have you ever considered the merits of Chewy Sweet Tarts in lieu of Wacky Wafers?

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 6:38 PM CDT

Name: Lukedog
Home Page:

Rubber Duckie,

Would you consider Chewy Sweet Tarts in lieu of Wacky Wafers?

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 6:39 PM CDT

Name: Lora

I think Agent Pepito is good for this sort of thing. He tried to find curly fries for Rance. LOL.

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 7:09 PM CDT

Name: flyrchld

I don't know what the Wacky Wafers are, but considering how much I love 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' in particular and chocolate in general, I will call.
I will call for all the Chocolate Lover's Everywhere!
I am calling right now!!!
Does anyone know where I can score a Marathon Bar?...

Ahhh!!, I called too late, it is 7:08pm CST.
Duckie, you shall NOT BE DENIED!! I will call again tomorrow, promise.

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 7:43 PM CDT

Name: melp*

rubber duckie just because i like you, i will call them.

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 8:03 PM CDT

Name: Bubba

Thanks Ken, you have all the answers to life's tough questions.

RDD: are Willy Wonka wafers the great big wafers that are kinda tarty like Britney Spears, or are they the small thin wafers that only Catholic children can truly appreciate...or are they something completely different? I am shocked and appalled that those chubby chocolate covered bastards at Nestle would dare discontinue any sort of Willy Wonka product...just wait until Johnny dons the top hat in next years remake, that will send them running back into the factory to make all the Wonka candy..

(When I heard about the remake, I thought of a great idea involving Gene Wilder as Grandpa, sadly Tim Burton would not return my imaginary ESP phone calls...he will not be receiving an imaginary Christmas card this year...that'll show him.)

"Where is the fancy bread in the heart, or in the head?",

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 8:34 PM CDT

Name: A. Paradox

Rubber Duckie, I have no idea who Lolita is, but I will call this number because I love you. If you don't get your Wacky Wafers back, I'll send you two dozen Chunky Bars or Paydays. A cause is a cause. (You like lipstick candy??)

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 10:29 PM CDT

Name: themaroon
Home Page:

What the hell is a Wacky Wafer? I'm going to call and vote for their discontinuing that crap and converting the machines that make them into ones that make some more of those yummy Kit Kat bars.

Tuesday, 24 August 2004 - 11:24 PM CDT

Name: El

Rubber Duckie,
I would love to contribute to this noble and righteous cause, but first could you enlighten us with a brief description of these "Wacky Wafers"?

Forgive me if I'm out of the loop, but I've never seen or heard of them...

and until I know the nature of this scrumptious treat, I doubt I will be able to overcome my phobia of calling 1-800 numbers.


P.S. Anything of Willy Wonka's brings tears of joy to my eyes. *fantasizes about Tim Burton's future film*

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 5:51 AM CDT

Name: Maria Von Trapp

Rubber Duckie my lovely,

What are wacky wafers? (Forgive me - UK dweller, we're a bit backwards here...)

I've been boycotting Nestle for so long, I've forgotten why I'm boycotting them (something to do with putting babies in the sweetie mix or somesuch. ) But I could continue boycotting them for you until they bring your wafers back.

Chin up.

Maria xx

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 9:37 AM CDT

Name: RedDot

A-S: Does Rance know you are filling his sacred space with idiocy? Somehow I think he wouldn't approve.

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 11:12 AM CDT

Name: princessr9

A sweet tooth is no joke and certainly not idiocy.

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 11:26 AM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

Sweet Tarts are in no way the same as Wacky Wafers. For starters, they're tart. I like just sweet.

For all who don't know what a Wacky Wafer is (and I must say I'm stunned at the number who don't) it is a wafer shaped candy about the size of a quarter that was last packed in a flat clear cellophane package. The wafers came in fruit flavors of banana, watermelon (my favorite), strawberry, etc. They were not tart at all. There is nothing similar to the flavor out there at all. They were composed of a substance similar to sweetarts but not as hard, much easier to bite. You could either suck on them, or chew them right up. I usually chewed them right up as I did not have the will power to abstain for that long.

And you must know that I really only like fun dip for the candy stick. I can hardly last three dips before I have to eat it....

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 11:29 AM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

Idiocy? Idiocy??? Must you be so harsh?

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 11:30 AM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

Perhaps you could send them an email?

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 11:32 AM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

To all who called, thank you!

To all who tried to call, thank you!

To all who didn't call, you're not going to get any coupons.

To the person who called me an idiot, pbbbbbbbblttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 11:34 AM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie
Home Page:

Click on the link above. That's the best I can do.

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 12:33 PM CDT

Name: Sass

Never joke about chocolate.
But I also, have no idea what they are.
Willy Wonka gives me the creeps.

Especially the Umpa-Lumpas..(?)

But I will call.
Otherwise I'll NEVER know.

I think Burton was born an Umpa-Lumpa.

'spains alot.


Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 1:41 PM CDT

Name: princessr9

Clearly a person lacking in sweetness. Let's hope he/she just goes away.

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 1:48 PM CDT

Name: Lanie
Home Page:

I'm with you RedDot. One less candy product out there, maybe America will become less obese. Who the hell cares? Find something else to occupy your time, fighting for a damn piece of candy? I'd hope you all can put that energy into something more positive. There's so much more work to do in this world than that.

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 1:53 PM CDT

Name: Lanie

and on another note....I'm disappointed, truly I am. This blog has been for entertainment purposes, which I guess this whole Bring Back The Wacky Wafers campaign would fall into that category. Obviously Rance allowing all this "story telling" has somewhat sent him into hiding. Maybe bored, maybe needing more, who knows? So why don't you guys/gals (i.e. the AS), whom you know I love, use this space to do some good? Help people. Reach people. Help people to help other people. You've got a great source of power here, obviously you don't realize it, or you don't want to do the work involved. If that's the case, then it is time you hand the reigns over.

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 3:20 PM CDT

Name: feenxc


"sacred space"???? what are you on?

"idiocy" ???? can i have some of what you're on?

this space is and has been devoted to any and all. the ultimate free... so up yours


Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 3:25 PM CDT

Name: Cheryl

RD, I'm going to go ahead and level with you on this one. I think Wacky Wafers are gross... always have, always will. But you know what? If it's important to you, it's important to us. Hand me the phone. While I'm at it, I'm going to find out what the hell ever happened to those candy cigarettes you could actually blow real sugar smoke out of. I was pissed when they got rid of those. And, for novelty's sake, why not something the kids could snort or something? Am I right? Pop Rocks... okay fine, a few kids choked or had eye injuries or something, but do they really have to ruin it for the rest of us? Don't get me started. Is there no justice in the world?!

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 3:43 PM CDT

Name: feenxc

psssst cheryl, poprocks are still out there. i always have some in my bedroom


Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 3:44 PM CDT

Name: princessr9

I have found both candy cigarettes (now called candy sticks) and pop rocks at Dollar Tree stores. I loved them when I was a kid, those and the candy lipsticks. I'm so glad to see these nostalgic candy sites popping up.

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 3:47 PM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

I'll have you know I'm not obese. I'm 5'6" weighing in at 115 pounds.

It isn't the candy that causes's the lack of self control my dear. Everything in moderation.

What would the world be like without candy? No Hershey Bars, no Willy Wonka, no Willy Wonka book or movie, no Easter basket of goodies, no Christmas stocking stuffed full, no sugar highs, no candy comfort, no Halloween treats.

Who the hell cares? I care, that's who, and the thousands of people who LOVED Wacky Wafers. Just because it isn't a 'cause you believe in doesn't mean it's meaningless.

Perhaps you should put your energy into more positive things than running around being negative and verbally attacking people you don't even know.

If you want a cause, I've got one for you...

P.S. I bet my eyes are browner than yours...

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 3:51 PM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

Ohhhh, I forgot about the smoking cigarettes. I have found the plain candy ones and ordered a goody basket of them. Pop Rocks, ooooh, ahhhh. I love Bottlecaps too, but I'm pretty sure they still make them.

How could you not LOVE Wacky Wafers? Oh well, at least you know of them.

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 5:06 PM CDT

Name: Superfreak

I think Rance would neither confirm nor deny if he approves.

I, however, do approve. I'm all about bringing back the wafer!

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 5:14 PM CDT

Name: superfreak

Anybody else remember Razzles? I found some for sale about a year ago at Sam's Club, and of course had to buy them. Hadn't seen them for years before, haven't seen them since.

My stash will last awhile too, because I don't remember them being so sour! Maybe that's nostalgia--when the opportunity arises to "relive" something, it's not quite like you remember...

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 8:16 PM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

Yeah, my candy cigarettes tasted really stale...perhaps that was due to the fact that they could have been 20 years old maybe...

Wednesday, 25 August 2004 - 8:21 PM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

Thank you Sassy're gonna get free coupons...and i think it's Oompa Loompas...

Thursday, 26 August 2004 - 5:56 AM CDT

Name: Sass

Anybody remember Rance? (when I started reading this I thought ...for a split was about Rance)
I found him about eight months ago....he was free...haven't seen him in weeks...

The old posts will NOT last forever...

NOW that's it like we remembered?...

On august will be eight months since Rance's first post...


...Why doesn't anybody ever ask me if I know or have met any famous scientists or humanitarians? The explanation, at least partially, may be the same as why I will now bring this morning's entry to a close: the daily appointment with fitness that is one of the most critical elements of my Facade Maintenance Program (FMP). I'd rather write the screenplay for "Kato: The Weeklong Mini-Series" than lift weights and run, but I've been convinced that the results can mean a difference in hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not my employment altogether.
first post - dec.20th 2003

...Then there's the rooms. All white of course. Combination spa/drug rehab room. With little presstype letter messages everywhere. On the wall above the desk, it says "think." On the bathroom mirror: "me." On the headboard: "dream." I wanted to take off the letters and rearrange them and place them on the wwindow as "jump," but you know David Lee Roth or someone like that would actually do it, and I'd be held responsible.
jan 8th 2004


So I get onto the elevator on my floor on the way out last night. And there's a woman, wearing a pair of leather pants that go up to my neck, and a white faux-fur coat that's like an oversized Bratz doll outfit. She grins and says, like Mae West, "Going down?" I'm killing myself that I couldn't think of a good response for this alley-oop.
jan 13th


Also, an incredibly, famous beautiful, married woman was trying to convince a young man to "drive her home." Her means of persuasion was stroking him and whispering a sonnet to him in a bad English accent. Evidently, if you are a famous beatiful married woman in need of a ride home, this is an effective method of obtaining it. On the way out, I found a dollar (funny how that always feels like the highlight).

Afterwards, I ate some pie and went home to write in my secret blog.
jan 30th 2004


The bottom line's the bottom line. With the extra $15 million she makes, she can write checks to a bunch of women's advocacy charities and advance the cause way more than it would've been otherwise." The same presentation fo the Pros and Cons has induced me to do plenty of things I would have preferred not to. Is it pragmatism, or is it dealing with the devil?
I guess I won't know for sure until I wind up at a party with that talent agent in Hell.
feb. 3rd 2004


where's the toll free number to get this sweet s*hit back?

Pee Yes: (Lord that was funny, George....)
This does not mean I am putting down Rubber's need for the wackys.....just means I got all.

Thursday, 26 August 2004 - 7:11 AM CDT

Name: JCanuck

I can see it now, let me know if you think this might work:

Dear People at Nestle,

I'm writing to you from Africa, where as you know, people are starving. You've seen it on TV. After having held countless bake sales, used-book sales and auctioning off my kid's clothes to the highest bidder, I have finally gathered together the funds to complete my charitable work.

Needless to say, I was SHOCKED, shocked I tell you, to discover that after all of my selfless efforts, you have discontinued making "Wacky Wafers", having long ago set my heart on bringing thousands of cases of this life-saving calorie rich delight to the starving people in this country. Hundreds of small children with thin legs and bulging bellies will look up at me, their haunted eyes filling with tears at the thought that they will not be getting the promised and much vaunted Wacky Wafers.

I beg of you, in the name of these small, helpless and needy malnourished children with big eyes and round distended tummies, to please reconsider your decision on discontinuing this much needed, live-saving, and utterly vital high calorie foodstuff. There are starving people here and their lives may hang on YOUR decision.

Perhaps I shouldn't have, but I was so disheartened by this news, that I called a close friend to share with her this terrible piece of information, not thinking of course that her husband works for your biggest competitor. I apologize in advance for the marketing bonanza that they are now preparing, he had a rotten bonus last year and is determined that this year will be different.

I also feel that I must tell you that I have involved in my efforts, several of the more prominent marabouts (aka witchdoctors) with whom this news is not going to go over well. Being the uncontrollable bunch that you know they are, you might consider having your manufacturing plants, both in this country and the neighboring ones, preventively counter-cursed in the very near future.

Yours sincerely,


Thursday, 26 August 2004 - 10:16 AM CDT

Name: Lanie

who's attacking who? I never attacked, if you took it that way, then oh well. I also never accused you or anyone else on this blog of being obese. If someone is, then I'm sure there are many other reasons for it (ie genetics) than candy. Also, I don't believe I ever stated that there shouldn't be any candy at all. I simply stated that one less on the market equals less temptation and possibly less obese people.

I have never, and will never "run around being negative and verbally attacking people I don't even know". I simply agreed with RedDot's first comment on the matter. So why are you attacking me?

P.S. I bet my eyes are browner than yours... who the hell cares if your eyes are browner. My dad always said that means your full of more s*@t anyway.

Thursday, 26 August 2004 - 11:30 AM CDT

Name: Rubber Duckie

Attacking??? No, no, no...I should have said condescending. Me thinks you need a little more experience under your belt before you run around giving others advice on how to be, what to do, or how to act.

"I have never, and will never 'run around being negative and verbally attacking people I don't even know'".

Perhaps you should open those brown eyes and reread your prior posts...I'm just sayin'...Don't save the planet all in one day, be sure and save something for might get bored...

arive derche

Thursday, 26 August 2004 - 12:06 PM CDT

Name: princessr9
Home Page:

Some where in there a voodoo chicken should be included, don't you think?

Thursday, 26 August 2004 - 1:31 PM CDT

Name: Lanie

Rubber Duckie,

Recently there was a huge brawl on here between a few people, and from your responses to me, I see that it's heading that way again. I don't want to be involved in this. Vote to bring back Wacky Wafers, I really don't care. As I stated previously, I was simply agreeing to someone else's post, and then stating my own opinion. Isn't that what everyone else has done? You accused me of directing statements toward you, when I don't even know you, yet you do the same thing. Can we just stop now? What's the importance of all this? Why go back and forth on a frivolous subject that we obviously don't agree on?

I'm not going to continue this argument, nor make any more replies in your direction whatsoever. Continue to send put downs my way, I really don't care. After all, I don't even know you, so what's it worth to me anyhow.


Thursday, 26 August 2004 - 1:34 PM CDT

Name: Lanie

Sass--you are a true gem. This was great. If anyone has that number you spoke of, I'd be sure to call.

Thursday, 26 August 2004 - 1:52 PM CDT

Name: JCanuck

It wouldn't fit on my hard drive.

Thursday, 26 August 2004 - 4:26 PM CDT

Name: princessr9
Home Page:

Bummer, it was worth a shot though.

Friday, 27 August 2004 - 3:00 AM CDT

Name: JCanuck

All is not lost, those pissed off witchdoctors will be holding free chicken BBQ's EVERY day outside of the Nestle plants. Nobody in Africa turns down a free meal... hehehe
Ooga Booga

Friday, 27 August 2004 - 3:30 AM CDT

Name: nikola1tesla
Home Page:

Click the link for my posts "homepage" here-- That's what I found on a image google of Wacky Wafers. To me-- they look exactly like pastel hits of ecstasy there-- with faces carved in them rather than Mitsubishi logos Motorloa logos or elephants.

I'd keep the Wacky Wafers off the market for that reason alone, now that I have kids of my own to look out for. Not a much different idea than the microdot sheet candy tabs from back in the day that were sheets of candy tab acid. It's just way to easy to imagine a kid accidently taking X because they look exactly like Wacky Wafers.

Friday, 27 August 2004 - 11:39 AM CDT

Name: princessr9
Home Page:

Oh my, the Ooga Booga sent me over the edge. The people at work think I'm crazy. Ok, so they already think I'm crazy, now they know it. I'm laughing so hard I can barely type.

Saturday, 28 August 2004 - 11:44 PM CDT

Name: RandomReality
Home Page:

NOOOOO! They have discontinued Wacky Wafers! Love them! Have not thought of them in YEARS! But now I. MUST.HAVE.THEM!!! Thank you for bringing my attention to this very important matter. I shall mobilize all my friends.


Saturday, 28 August 2004 - 11:47 PM CDT

Name: RandomReality
Home Page:

Fun dip! Yum!!!!! The dip itself was very good. The stick, not so much. I would usually trhow that away after all the dip was gone.

Wednesday, 8 September 2004 - 9:48 PM CDT

Name: Chissie
Home Page:

Hi to all you budding screenwriters who blog on here, I've posted the above site to let those of you who are broke, new to it or otherwise interested know that a screenwriters competition ends at the end of this month(yes, yes...prize money etc), so I hope that some of you inspired talents get your act together and send in a script or two.
Good luck in your mission should you chooose to accept it!
regards to all,

Wednesday, 8 September 2004 - 10:44 PM CDT

Name: Pink Poppy
Home Page:

I have found Razzles in the "snack size" bags at Dollar Tree. About 20 "snack size" packets to the bag--$1, of course.

Saturday, 16 June 2007 - 5:42 PM CDT

Name: "WackyWafer Lover"

I, to, loved wacky wafer!!  Anyone reading this, please call Nestle to let them know we want them back!!

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